I get dressed in an Etro top and Pologeorgis fur and put on this Knicks cap that Spike gave me. On my way in today, I decide to say hello to the paparazzi, because, I mean—God bless them—it's like they've been doing community service too. They've been out here in the cold all week.
We clean the downstairs hall. Bob Marley is on the radio, which is nice. For lunch, Mr. Barry recommends a place in Little Italy. Mr. Barry has become a friend, and I'll keep in touch with him.
I grew up very much on my own. I never knew my father. And my mother, who was a contemporary ballet dancer, left me with a nanny from the time I was three until I was 12 while she traveled. I'm sure it wasn't easy for her to leave me, but she was a single mother and she had to work. I can't imagine the pain she felt when my father abandoned us. I would see her on vacations, when she would pop over for a few days. It was always a delight to see my beautiful young mother. How happy I'd be when she picked me up from school.
Recently, my mother agreed to go into therapy with me. It's something I wanted for a long time but haven't started because now I need to get myself on the right path first. Part of that involves cutting a lot of working relationships. I don't really have many yes-people in my life anymore. I've gotten away from them—all the agents, assistants, people who would never tell me the truth and watch me destroy myself. But of course many of those people maybe didn't want to work with me anymore, either, which I totally understand.
Most people can rely on their family, but I tried to deal with everything on my own. I'm a very strong person. I never had problems with men, because if they bothered me, I'd tell them to f--- off. I put that air out. I thought, That's the best way to protect myself. I basically made a family with my friends. Quincy Jones and Chris Blackwell are like fathers to me, and Norma is like a sister. I am very, very blessed to have them in my life.
After work, I take the subway uptown. The last time I was on the subway you had to use tokens. I take Norma to Marc Jacobs because I want to buy her a present. She's just a brilliant friend who's stuck with me through thick and thin.
Friday
My last day. Clean the offices downstairs. Sade's playing on the radio. The important thing to me is that I did my job, that the Sanitation people were happy with the work I did. That's all I wanted to hear. I feel like I've paid my debt to society. I'm not proud of what I did, but it's something I definitely learned from. Now I have to get on with my life, keep working on my problems and go to meetings every day.
