Stalking the Real Housewives: It Has to Stop!
You know your addiction to the Real Housewives of New York is spiraling out of control when you forego tucking in your adorable three-year-old for a trek to the outer reaches of Hell’s Kitchen in the pouring rain, just to try catch a glimpse of Jill Zarin.
In my defense, when an invitation to attend Jill’s benefit bash at Hudson Terrace for the People Reaching Out Foundation arrived a few weeks ago, it was attached to a major carrot: a one-on-one lunch with Mrs. Bobby Zarin herself. As W‘s unofficial in-house chronicler of all things Housewife (see previous posts on the Countess and Alex), I was doing the happy dance. Until the Bravo publicists got involved, that is, and the whole thing went pear-shaped. Not only was the lunch offer rescinded, I wasn’t even granted a phoner.
Setting aside my bruised ego for the cause, colleague Jenny Comita (also a committed Housewives watcher) and I braved the crowd last night for a decidedly meta evening. (It’s too convoluted to get into here, but Hudson Terrace was also setting for the Creaky Joints event spearheaded by Jill, the source of much drama throughout the second season.) From the get-go, Jenny and I were like squealing teenagers. “There’s Mario!” “Wait, isn’t that Ally over there?” “I wonder if Avery is here!”
And we have to say that we were surprised by how attractive the gals are in the flesh. Alex has legs that go on for days and such good teeth that we suspect she’s nipped off to a cosmetic dentist for Invisalign. Apparently, when Ramona isn’t the midst of one of her fits, she can come off cheery and not the least bit bug-eyed. And Jill, who’s been looking considerably leaner this season (thanks to that breast reduction) has a flawless complexion.
Alex, clad in the unfortunate burlap sack Feed Project corset hubby gifted her with on-air, was surrounded by dudes the entire time. Still, she found time to catch us up with what’s going on in her life. “Our renovation is complete, and we just lined-up a publisher for our book,” she said, referring to the parenting tome Silex has been shopping for months. “We’re with Sterling & Ross and the manuscript is due June 15th.”
Ever cheerful, Simon piped-in, “I love having a deadline. We already have 8,000 words written, so just another 42,000 to go.”
Ramona, who had squeezed herself into a skintight satin dress for the occasion, also didn’t disappoint. Asked about her multiple business ventures, she exploded like a firecracker. “I’m selling these earrings on HSN,” she said, pointing to her ears. “This necklace is from my other jewelry collection. And my Tru Renewal skincare is selling really well on my website—RamonaSinger.com.” (When we inquired after her daughter Avery, she told us the sensible lass was home, studying. “She just got an A on her history exam!”)
Now for the lowlights: Aside from a photo we snuck, we were able to make no contact with Jill whatsoever. And sadly, at least on our watch, Bethenny, LuAnn and Kelly were no-shows. But that’s OK. I stalked Kelly at the Rachel Rachel Roy launch party last week. Though she was in and out like a bolt of lightning, I did manage to catch her in a tete-a-tete with fellow giantess Beth Ostrosky.
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