KEEPING UP

Behold Kim Kardashian West’s Complete Failure to “Keep It Cute” Around Tristan Thompson

Khloé, for her part, remained mature.


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Courtesy of E!

Khloé Kardashian gave birth to her daughter, True Thompson, a full six months ago, but the Kardashians have always had their own concept of time—particularly when it comes to documenting their lives on Keeping Up With the Kardashians. And so, on Sunday night, in the show’s latest episode, they carried right on in sticking to their unabashedly warped time line, flashing back to April 12, 2018—aka the best day of Khloé’s “ENTIRE LIFE,” as she tweeted during the episode’s airing.

Of course, as her sister Kim Kardashian West has been consistently quick to remind the world, things were a bit more complicated than that: Khloé gave birth to True right after catching wind of her daughter’s father Tristan Thompson’s reported cheating scandal—not that Khloé appears to believe that it merits the word “reported.” (She later minced no words in summing up the whole saga as Tristan, aka “a complete piece of shit,” “obviously fuck[ing] up, major.”)

Going even further back, Khloé started out by simply declaring “this is crazy” to Tristan during what was apparently their first reunion since the scandal—or, at least, the first one that the cameras happened to have been there for. Indeed, contrary to what you may expect from someone going through childbirth, Khloé seemed thrilled to have the whole affair documented, while looking miraculously sweat-free and camera-ready, welcoming True into the world with a full face of makeup. (She even later thanked her friend Rich Youngin for not only driving her to the hospital but also documenting that night, tweeting, “He may have been annoying me during my contractions but WO him we would not have most of this footage!”)

That footage was taken in Tristan’s hometown of Cleveland, where Kris Jenner was, of course, the first family member to show up to support Khloé, with Kim and Kourtney Kardashian quickly following suit, doing their best to ignore the elephant in the room. “I just have to be there for her,” Kim said in her one-on-one confessional. “As much as I wanna go off, I just don’t think it’s the time, so I’m gonna keep it cute.”

But Kim, it turns out, has a very fluid idea of “cute.” She may have largely kept her mouth shut while in the delivery room—at least while on camera, anyway—but she did make sure the camera was trained on her when she took the opportunity to silently rebuke Tristan, whom she’d just hugged after Khloé asked the pair whether or not they were going to talk. Once they wrapped up the hug and Tristan had his back turned, though, Kim mimed slicing his throat by drawing a finger across hers in a move whose denouement was her pointedly sticking out her very pointed tongue in his direction. (She stopped short of being truly menacing by returning her gaze to the camera with a sly grin, though once safely on a private jet with Kourtney, after spending less than 24 hours in Cleveland, she let her sister know what had really been going through her head: “I was like, This will be like Mayweather and Pacquiao, and I am Mayweather. So are you ready?”

Kim also made her true feelings clear in the most Kim way possible: by unfollowing Tristan on Instagram. Tristan clearly noticed, as Kim went on to share in a scene showing her immersed in her phone: “He blocked me! What a fucking loser. Literally, what a fucking loser.” She then immediately called Khloé to ask her how old Tristan is; Khloé, who was then 33 and clearly not amused, informed her that “he’s 27. Only 27-year-olds know how to block someone. I don’t even know how to block someone.” She also didn’t know exactly what Kim meant when she told her that “it’s on,” prompting Kim to elaborate: “It just means when I see him, I’m going to spit on him.”

Kim Kardashian West and Tristan Thompson hugging on *Keeping Up With the Kardashians*, ahead of Khloé Kardashian giving birth.

Courtesy of E!

It doesn’t seem as though Kim ever made good on that promise, as the cameras no doubt would have been there to capture it, but she did later tell their mom, who described Tristan as “obviously very remorseful,” while holding a dog and hanging out in a garage, that she had told Tristan she thought he was more remorseful because it was affecting his job and image: “I think he’s more embarrassed that he looks stupid,” she continued. “And I told him that.” (The family apparently had a private talk with Tristan without any cameras present, in which they expressed “exactly” how they felt.)

Khloé initially seemed unaware of all that, telling the camera in her own confessional that she was “really grateful” that “everyone put their differences aside for that moment.” She has, of course, since caught up on everything that went on behind the scenes; Kim didn’t exactly keep her feelings quiet from the rest of the world, either, discussing “poor Khloé” while on air with Ellen DeGeneres just a couple of weeks after True’s birth, summing things up as “just so fucked up.” It was at that point that Khloé went on to agree with her and call him “a complete piece of shit”—one who, jumping to the present, she and True are apparently about to spend Thanksgiving with.

Related: Watch the Moment the Kardashian Sisters Found Out About Tristan Thompson’s Alleged Infidelity

A Guide to the Many, Many New Celebrity Babies of 2018 (So Far)

After months of increasingly impatient Instagram updates, Hilary Duff gave birth to her second baby, with her boyfriend Matthew Koma (né Bair). (It’s no doubt only a matter of time before she adopts the nickname Banksy.)

Courtesy of @hilaryduff

Dakota Johnson is now officially a godmother, thanks to her pal Addison Timlin and Timlin’s longtime boyfriend Jeremy Allen White, whom you may recognize from Shameless,

Courtesy of @addison.timlin

Midway through October, the actress Yvonne Strahovski, whom you may recognize as Serena Joy in The Handmaid’s Tale, gave birth to her first child with her husband Tim Loden. The boy’s name hasn’t been officially announced, but it might end up being quite interesting, given Strahovski’s caption on Instagram: “Welcome to the world Peanut.”

Courtesy of @yvonnestrahovski

Just days after attending Princess Eugenie’s wedding, Pippa Middleton gave birth to her first child with her husband, James Matthews. The baby is also a first for Prince George, Princess Charlotte, and Prince Louis, as the newborn is their first-ever first cousin.

Adrian Dennis/WPA/Getty Images

Almost immediately after Kate Hudson gave birth to Rani Rose Hudson Fujikawa with her boyfriend Danny Fujikawa at the start of October, she posted on Instagram to share the story behind her newborn daughter’s lengthy name. Pronounced “Ronnie,” “Rani” is in fact a tribute to her grandfather Ron Fujikawa.

Courtesy of @katehudson

Owen Wilson, who has two sons from previous relationships, welcomed another child into his family with the birth of Lyla Aranya Wilson, his newborn daughter with Varunie Vongsvirates, whom he appears to have been dating for years.

Courtesy of @varunie

Pretty Little Liars star Troian Bellisario and Suits actor Patrick J. Adams welcomed their first daughter on October 8, 2018. The couple has been married since December 2016.

Courtesy of @sleepinthegardn

Rachel Weisz, 48, gave birth to her first child with husband Daniel Craig, 50, in August 2018. The couple has been married since 2011.

Jason LaVeris/Getty Images

Hugh Dancy and Claire Danes are the proud parents of a baby boy…again! The actors welcomed their second son in August.

Walter McBride/WireImage/Getty Images

Top model Kasia Struss welcomed her baby Alice into the world in August, sharing a sweet snap of the baby on August 5, 2018.

Courtesy of @kasiastruss

NBA MVP Stephen Curry and his wife Ayesha Curry’s third child, a boy named Canon, was born on July 2nd. The couple revealed the news on Instagram later that week.

Courtesy of @ayeshacurry

Ever since his wife Crystal Smith delivered Roman Alexander-Raj Smith, her second child—following another son named Prince—with Ne-Yo. He now has four kids in total, and already isn’t opposed to a fifth, telling Us Weekly, “if wifey decides she wants to go through that again, I’m not gonna stand in her way.”

Courtesy of @itscrystalsmith

After some “home-birth realness,” Kimberley and James Van Der Beek gave birth to their fifth child—a daughter named Gwendolyn who, given the family’s track record, will likely soon be blonde.

Courtesy of @vanderjames

In early June, in Berlin, Veronika Heilbrunner gave birth to her first child with her husband and fellow street-style star Justin O’Shea. Here, he celebrates his first Father’s Day on their son’s Tiffany & Co. baby nap mat—an auspicious sign that the family’s fashion legacy will continue.

Courtesy of @justinoshea

In what may be the closest we ever get to a Devil Wears Prada sequel, in April, Emily Blunt’s sister Felicity Blunt gave birth to a baby girl with her husband Stanley Tucci, who’s now a father of five.

David M. Benett/Getty Images

Watch out, Jaden Smith—there’s a new Jayden in town. That’s as of the end of May, when the Topshop heiress Chloe Green gave birth to her first child, a baby boy, with Jeremy Meeks, aka the Hot Felon, whom she’s been dating since last May.

Courtesy of @jmeeksofficial

Just before May came to an end, as she put it, two became three for America Ferrera and her husband Ryan Piers Williams; she announced the birth of their son Sebastian Piers Williams on May 29—along with the fact that they’ve already nicknamed him Baz.

Courtesy of @americaferrera

Just when you thought Chrissy Teigen, John Legend, and their daughter Luna couldn’t get any cuter, in late May, the family managed to take up a notch by adding the newborn Miles Theodore Stephens into the mix, who so far seems to be getting along with his older sis just fine.

Courtesy of @chrissyteigen

The model Miranda Kerr not only gave birth to her and her husband Evan Spiegel’s son named Hart this May; she also gave birth to the baby who just might end up being the heir of Snapchat.

Tommaso Boddi/Getty Images

In January, Kirsten Dunst kicked off the year by confirming those pesky pregnancy rumors via none other than a photo shoot for Rodarte. She gave birth this May, choosing with her fiancé, the actor Jesse Plemons, to name their son Ennis Howard Plemons.

Kevin Winter

Kate Middleton shut down London for a day this April when she gave birth to His Royal Highness Prince Louis of Cambridge, her third child with Prince William, whom Princess Charlotte has certainly taken to.

Courtesy of @kensingtonroyal

Coco Rocha and her husband James Conran already had a three-year-old daughter named Ioni when the model gave birth to their son Iver Eames Conran in April. Now, less than a year later, he even has his own Instagram.

Courtesy of @cocorocha

There’s no better proof that Nicholas Hoult, the boy who starred in About a Boy has moved on from his childhood days, than the fact that as of this spring, he’s now a dad, having had a child with his girlfriend, the model Bryana Holly.

Vittorio Zunino Celotto

Where to begin with Khloé Kardashian’s baby, True Thompson? After months and months of rumors—and a last-minute, action-packed scandal with her NBA star boyfriend, Tristan Thompson, Kardashian gave birth in April, in Cleveland.

Though she’s managed to keep it entirely out of the spotlight, Rachel McAdams reportedly gave birth to a baby with her boyfriend, the screenwriter Jamie Linden, some time before April of this year. (They’ve kept things so under the wraps, in fact, that they have yet to make a requisite couple appearance on the red carpet.)

Adrian Sanchez-Gonzalez/AFP/Getty Images

The birth of Seth Meyers and Alexi Ashe’s second child together didn’t go quite as smoothly as the first; Ashe actually delivered Axel Strahl Meyers this May in the lobby of their apartment building.

Courtesy of @sethmeyers

Having conquered fashion blogging, Chiara Ferragni, aka The Blonde Salad, gave birth to her first child, whom she’s nicknamed Leo, this March. (She’s currently engaged to the Italian rapper fiancé Fedez.)

Courtesy of @chiaraferragni

Actor Eddie Redmayne and PR executive Hannah Bagshawe, who’ve been married since 2014, welcomed their son Luke Richard into their family, which also includes their daughter Iris Mary, this March.

Alberto Rodriguez/NBC

Just after Valentine’s Day, Behati Prinsloo gave birth to her second child with Adam Levine, a daughter named Gio Grace who, according to the model, has her father’s toes.

Courtesy of @behatiprinsloo

Vanessa Nadal, an attorney and a scientist who happens to be married to Hamilton mastermind Lin-Manuel Miranda. gave birth to their second child, Francisco Miranda, in early February.

Courtesy of @lin_manuel
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