No matter how many millions of followers or dollars they have, celebrities are just like us in that every February 14th, they succumb to Hallmark’s most polarizing holiday: Valentine’s Day. But what do celebrities get for their celebrity mates, who most certainly have it all? They have to get creative—we imagine. So, we got creative, too, and fantasized about what our favorite Hollywood couples (and rumored couples) are getting each other as gifts today.
Kanye West to Kim Kardashian
Ever since Kim Kardashian returned to Instagram from her extended social media hiatus, she’s posted photos exclusively with a heavy vintage filter. Even her branded content is sepia. It’s as if she wants to travel back in time to before she and Kanye West and their children, North and Saint, were some of the most famous (and ultimately vulnerable) people on earth. Or, perhaps it’s to try to give the impression that she’s just like us—and not about the flashing lights and glitz and glam. But as we know from Beyoncé’s “home videos,” a vintage filter doesn’t make anything more real. Which is why this Valentine’s Day, we think Kanye West should give Kim Kardashian a vintage camcorder, rather than a Lumee case. Now that would make for an interesting selfie.
Rihanna to herself
Rihanna doesn’t need this “Valentines Day” thing. She’s the queen of self-love and self-care, as evidenced by her diamond-studded flask at the 2017 Grammy Awards. Prior to this, she was known for disregarding open container laws by carrying a large glass of wine with her wherever she went. But perhaps wine isn’t strong enough for 2017. Or, perhaps she didn’t have a Vino2Go Wine Tumblr! Rih, invest in this genius contraption before you spill merlot on your Manolos.
The Weeknd to Selena Gomez
New music power couple Selena Gomez and Abel Tesfaye, better known as The Weeknd, were recently spotted on what looked like a lover’s holiday in Florence, Italy. The two visited the Galleria dell’Accademia, the museum that most famously houses Michelangelo’s David. In addition to staring thoughtfully at famous male nudes, The Weeknd also uploaded a photo of Gomez gazing up at Botticelli’s The Birth of Venus. Being a couple in the early stages of a relationship can be a little awkward on Valentine’s Day; you don’t want to be too extravagant, but you also want to make a significant, thoughtful gesture. Which is why if we were The Weeknd, we would get these cute Botticelli socks for the real Venus of Instagram.
Jay Z to Beyoncé
Perhaps one of the most .gif’ed and tweeted moments from the 2017 Grammy Awards was when Beyoncé, whose performance was already an actual religious experience, seemed to defy the laws of earthy physics by tipping all the way back in a chair without falling over. In that moment, she was Queen Bey, and it was clear that even though thrones are Jay Z’s thing, (he dropped “Watch the Throne” with Kanye West in 2011), Beyoncé had rightfully claimed her seat. Being a soon-to-be-mother carrying twins, we think it’s only right for Jay to gift his queen with an actual, cushy throne to put her feet up. Then, once the kids are born, they can use it as a rocking chair.
Jennifer Lopez to Drake
Hey, Jennifer Lopez, if you’re reading this, it’s not too late! On Drake‘s song “Child’s Play,” which he dropped last year with Views, he raps, “Why you gotta fight with me at Cheesecake / You know I love to go there.” And in the music video, he and Tyra Banks fight at the Cheesecake Over dinner and dessert, leaving him with cheesecake smashed all over his face. Clearly, he needs a woman who he can actually enjoy the Cheesecake Factory with, which is why we think Jennifer Lopez—who was recently spotted smooching the singer on New Year’s—should get him a gift certificate as a small nod to her potential girlfriend material. It’s no secret that Drake has a soft spot for romance, not to mention anything cheesy, so we think this is sure to make him swoon.
See what celebrities are actually doing on Valentine’s Day, below.
Male Models Are Taking Their Girlfriends to see “Fifty Shades Darker” On Valentine’s Day, Too
“I’m going to take my girlfriend Madison to see the new Fifty Shades of Grey movie and have some Nutella afterwards.” — Trevor Photo by Biel Parklee.
“I’m taking my lady out for a nice dinner.” — Cole Photo by Biel Parklee.
“Girl, I’m not doing anything! I’m just gonna cook something for myself.” — Joel Photo by Biel Parklee.
“I’m going to have a great meal and some cake with my girlfriend.” – Woojin Photo by Biel Parklee.
“Pizza and Netflix by myself.” — Harry Photo by Biel Parklee.
“I’ll just get some take out… But hopefully that might change.” — Conor Photo by Biel Parklee.
“I’m going to get some full roses for my girlfriend.” — Jack Photo by Biel Parklee.
“I don’t know, I just started talking to this girl. We’ll see…” — Joseph Photo by Biel Parklee.
“I’m spending Valentine’s Day by myself because my girlfriend is in Australia. But maybe I’ll treat myself with some roses or chocolates.” — Jacob Photo by Biel Parklee.
“I’m going to suit up, take the lady a nice dinner in the city, and then watch Fifty Shades of Grey movie.” — Jesse Photo by Biel Parklee.
“I’m going to spend the whole day with my girlfriend and then watch some movies in my apartment.” — Inde Photo by Biel Parklee.