There’s nothing like going for an entire body MOT to make you question all your life choices. That’s exactly where I found myself earlier this month when I went in for a full-body scan at the latest new-age preventative wellness clinic that’s popped up in London.
I first found out about this particular clinic, which I’ll call Space Podyssey, a year ago, when they were handing out Freebie Philo medical scans to a bunch of influencers. I think I even booked one but might have been too *coughs* sick (read: hungover) to attend. 365 party girl days later, I realized it was time to book myself in. After a year of yo-yoing between various wellness protocols, leaving a slew of abandoned fitness packages in my wake—not to mention half-consumed packets of pills, powders, tinctures, and patches all around my room, much to the chagrin of my husband—I wanted some kind of objective measure to see where I was at health-wise. Let’s call it a medical late-spring cleaning.
Founded by an incredibly rich European tech giant, this London clinic relies on yearly full-body scans that map out a host of internal and external health data points, from cholesterol and glucose levels to blood pressure and skin health. Predicated on the belief that preventing a disease is easier than curing one, this system allows you to check for early markers of various conditions, including skin cancer, metabolic irregularities, diabetes, and heart-related issues. “Traditionally, healthcare has been reactive,” says Dr. William Turner, director of Effect Doctors. “Patients develop symptoms, disease progresses, and treatment starts once there has already been a meaningful physiological impact. Preventive medicine shifts that thinking forward. The aim is to identify potential problems before they become established diseases and to manage them properly while they are still easier to treat.” As someone who loves a low lift, high-reward appointment, it was a no-brainer.
I arrived at the Marylebone clinic on a mild Monday morning. I was 4 minutes late, which is surprisingly early for me. I was told that if I had been just one more minute late, they would have cancelled my appointment entirely. I guess this clinic takes a hardline approach to everything. Instead of the usual dingy waiting room, with its obligatory magazine-laden coffee table and anemic-looking potted plant, I felt like I'd stepped into some 1960s idea of a spaceship designed by someone who works at Pantone. Everything in the reception room was an off buttery yellow or mucus-y slime green. Think: cloud-like seats made of padded leather and round modular tables. The kind of thing someone might add to their Pinterest board if sci-fi minimalism meets medical realness is what they were into. It had a weirdly calming effect. Considering I was about to be confronted with my mortality, that was probably highly beneficial.
After changing into a buttery yellow robe and dark cerulean slides (neither of which are my colors), I was shown into the assessment room—another minimalist wet dream (although this one was baby blue), populated with an array of hi-tech looking medical equipment. There, a no-nonsense nurse—a former surgical porter who worked the frontlines of COVID before joining the private sector—explained what we would be doing.
First up is mole mapping, when you stand in a tubular scanning unit and have every inch of your body captured in thousands of high-res photos. Next, you sit on a medical bed as they carry out an eye test, grip test, blood test, and vascular scanning test before measuring your heart rate at various pulse points. The whole thing lasts about 20 minutes, after which you’re taken to another pastel-hued chamber, where you are greeted by a doctor and a large screen, which displays one of the most alarming sights I think I've ever seen: a giant 3-D image of my body. Is that really what my ass looks like?
Crash out over, you are then taken through your results, which are displayed on the screen, with your doctor. Cue another crash out. While my eyesight, cardiovascular health, glucose levels, and grip were optimal (overcompensating for my diminishing grip on reality?), the amount of bad fats in my blood count was a slight cause for concern. To address this, the doctor advised cutting down on red meat and cheese, bolstering my diet with things like eggs, chicken, fish, beans, and lentils. Yum! She also advised me to cut down on alcohol and cigarettes (no surprises there) and told me I might want to look into a more rigorous fitness routine. At least my BMI was on point.
Given my family's history of skin cancer, I found the mole mapping part the most useful—they even sent my results to a dermatologist for a second opinion. Beyond that, it was helpful to have my most intimate health data projected onto a wall and thoroughly analyzed by a doctor in real-time. It made me really listen. I’m not alone in this. “People no longer want to wait until they become unwell before taking their health seriously,” says Dr .Turner. “Patients are increasingly interested not only in avoiding disease but also in improving energy, recovery, sleep, cognitive performance, and long-term resilience.” The best part is that you get a year to try and beat your own results, which makes being healthy a lot less boring. Who better to go up against other than yourself?
At around £300 a scan, it obviously isn't cheap. But when it comes to your health, it’s probably worth the investment. Let's hope things haven’t gone too downhill this time next year.
