Savage X Fenty Show Presented By Amazon Prime Video - Inside

NEW YORK, NEW YORK – SEPTEMBER 10: Bella Hadid walks the runway for Savage X Fenty Show Presented by Amazon Prime Video on September 10, 2019 in New York City. (Photo by Craig Barritt/Getty Images)

Craig Barritt

Bella Hadid knows that to outsiders her life seems charmed, but on stage at the Vogue Fashion Festival in Paris, the model admitted that she struggled to deal with her own mental health in light of her professional success.

“For a while I just didn’t want to talk about it, and I’ve gone through a lot in the past few years with my health,” she said according to WWD.

“I feel guilty for being able to live this incredible life, have the opportunities that I do, but somehow still be depressed. It doesn’t make sense.”

“I would cry every single morning, I would cry during my lunch breaks, I would cry before I slept. I was very emotionally unstable for a while when I was working 14-hour days for four months straight as an 18-year-old. I think I just wanted to breathe a little bit. And so it kind of put me in a spiral."

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Last month, Hadid also opened up about how she handles mental health care in an Instagram post, thanking fans for their birthday wishes.

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I wanted to say thank you so much for all the birthday wishes. You have no idea how much it means to me reading each message.💛 Yesterday was mental health awareness day. A struggle that I know a majority of us have dealt with in the past or dealing with currently. And if not, you probably know someone who is.. something that I have been dealing with for a few years but finally at a point where it doesn’t consume me as much as before. still have bad days along with the good, but grateful and proud of myself to be in the place that I am today, going into my 23rd year of life. with that being said , I would like to add that everything you see online or through social media is not always what it seems..the happiness we create online while being sad in real life makes no sense, but sometimes it just seems easier to live within your sadness rather than talk about it. if it wasn’t for the people closest to me, I probably would have still been in that place, and for that, I am forever thankful to them...don’t feel pressured by things online...if you don’t want to get out of bed, don’t. If you want to cancel plans, cancel them. Being kind and protective to yourself and your energy is something I’ve learned to be helpful. When the world feels like it is collapsing around you, you are allowed to ask for help... you do not have to deal w/ your mental state alone. We need to spread love and allow love in. Be kind ! To the people around you! strangers! everyone!.be aware! the moments that we have are singular and you will never know the struggle or the pain of another person until you are in their shoes. so reach out n ask. We all need love&support and if you can be the one to bring somebody happiness or a calmness that they can't find in themselves, please be that person..You never know how much your words or just a smile can change someone’s day n even yours as well.If you are reading this and feel like there’s no light at the end of the tunnel... there is ... and I see you ! You are strong , you are good enough and you DESERVE to be happy!!I am going to write a new morning mantra right now and you should too! I love all of you out there so much! Sending a big virtual hug

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"I would like to add that everything you see online or through social media is not always what it seems," she wrote. "The happiness we create online while being sad in real life makes no sense, but sometimes it just seems easier to live within your sadness rather than talk about it."

She urged fans to take care of themselves, but also to not be afraid about reaching out for help if they need it.

Hadid's comfort with her own mental health appears to be growing both with her confidence as a model and the evolution of the industry.

While not mentioning Victoria's Secret by name, Hadid mentioned that it wasn't until recently that she felt comfortable walking on the runway in lingerie. She credits Rihanna's Fenty x Savage shows as a the first time she truly felt confident modeling underwear.

Hadid added that the Fenty show gave her a chance to play up a character on the runway rather than some perfected version of herself. “I like being another character. I think at this point I don’t necessarily love being myself sometimes."