DO YOU WANT GOOP WITH THAT?

Gwyneth Paltrow’s Landmark Moment: The Goop Fast Food Guide is Here

Gwyneth Paltrow’s goop is now offering McDonalds menu hacks in addition to chlorophyll wellness shot recipes.


Gwyneth Paltrow photographed by Steven Klein, styled by Alex White; W magazine September 2007.

The Goop brand was once synonymous with the particular lifestyle of its very famous founder Gwyneth Paltrow. Once a simple newsletter full of the latest macrobiotic nutrition recommendations and vaginal steaming trends that Paltrow herself presumably typed up at her kitchen counter, Goop is now a full-on media brand with venture capital funding behind it.

One that’s hungry for new content, and looking to expand itself ever so gently beyond its original strict ethos to attract new readers. A brand that even Paltrow herself says she hopes can someday stand on its own and expand beyond just her own personal brand. A site she imagines can be more service-y to a wider audience, and less a vehicle for Paltrow to unveil her “unconscious uncoupling.”

This, folks, is how we arrived to today’s monumental milestone in Goop history: fast food recommendations. Yes, “The Goop Fast Food Guide” is here.

The site that once implored you to go on a holistic detox and suggested you use superfood secret ingredients like “kombu,” is now admitting that sometimes real people need to go into real restaurants due to the very real short amount of time many of us have in a day and somehow make the best of it.

“We’re also realists who know that sometimes—especially when it’s airline-terminal-adjacent, right off the next highway exit, or at your kid’s all-day competition (shout out to all the #dancemoms out there)—we’re going to eat fast food,” is how the site puts it.

Thus, we now have suggestions to order Wendy’s Power Mediterranean Chicken Salad (but substitute the hummus for the low fat balsamic vinaigrette, naturally) or a McDonald’s grilled chicken patty in a lettuce wrap (hold the cheese, please). The guide even suggests Panda Express as a perfectly viable destination to dine on grilled chicken, plain brown rice, and steamed veggies.

While part of the charm of Goop (at least for some) is reading every single article as if it was written or edited by Paltrow herself, it is very hard to do that with this one. Does Paltrow even know what an Arby’s is?

Though we’re not entirely sure it was written by a person who knows the real in-and-outs of fast food semi-healthy hackery either (Dunkin Donut’s has the DD Smart menu with a bunch of egg white sutff, and it’s fine. Taco Bell has the Fresco menu, and it’s fine. KFC now has grilled chicken, and Oprah loves it and it’s fine).

In any event, it’s the biggest shift yet in a publication written by Gwyneth Paltrow for women who either are, also, Gwyneth Paltrow, or really want to be Gwyneth Paltrow, and to a site that’s more inclusive of readers who want some simple healthy living pointers but aren’t, realistically, actually going to make that activated charcoal chai recipe.

Don’t expect the site to stop proffering activated charcoal chai recipes anytime soon, but less strictly on-brand content popping up won’t come as a surprise.

Related: Gwyneth Paltrow Rethinks Her “Conscious Uncoupling” Announcement, But Doesn’t Mind You Making Fun of Her

Bradley Cooper’s Best Birthday Involved a McDonald’s, Egg McMuffins & the Jersey Shore:

Gwyneth Paltrow’s Timeless Elegance on the Red Carpet

Gwyneth Paltrow looked elegant in a long ivory-colored satin slip dress and matching shawl timeless style at the premiere of ‘Jefferson in Paris’ in 1995.

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The actress attended the 68th Annual Academy Awards in 1996 with then-boyfriend Brad Pitt wearing another classic look: a cream-colored, sequined spaghetti strap gown.

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For the premiere of ‘Shakespeare in Love’ in 1998, Paltrow was both sweet and edgy in a sheer, beaded lilac-colored dress.

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All eyes were on the actress when she arrived to the 1999 Academy Awards in a pink Ralph Lauren ball gown with a streamlined bodice, princess ball skirt and diamond chocker. That night, she won the Oscar for Best Actress for her role in ‘Shakespeare in Love’.

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Paltrow wore a gothic-glam look by Alexander McQueen at the 2002 Vanity Fair Oscars Party,

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Showing off her amazing post-baby body at the ‘Sky Captain & The World Of Tomorrow’ UK premiere, Paltrow wore a strapless mid-length, champagne-colored dress with a waist cinching grey belt.

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At the 2005 Academy Awards, Gwyneth Paltrow wore a blush-colored silk corset gown by Stella McCartney, which accentuated her flawless, fair skin.

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The actress looked divine in this dusty rose-colored Zac Posen gown at the 2007 Oscars. The pleated sheer and silk neckline and mermaid train detailing of the gown fit her like a glove, and a pop of red lipstick was the perfect accent.

Patrick McMullan via Getty Images

Paltrow showed off her long legs in black lace Balmain mini dress at the UK premiere of “Iron Man.”

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At the Country Music Awards in 2010, Paltrow stood out in a beaded, ombre Atelier Versace gown with a high slit that accentuated her phenomenal figure.

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For the national premiere of “Country Strong,” Paltrow wore a black Chado Ralph Rucci dress with a playful hemline that showed off her Lanvin heels.

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At the 84th Annual Academy Awards, Paltrow wore a white, one-shoulder Tom Ford column dress with matching cape, with a slicked-back ponytail and side-swept bang.

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At the 49th Annual Goldene Kamera Awards, the actress wore a figure-hugging, glistening, fuchsia-colored Prada gown.

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The actress attended a cocktail party hosted by Michael Kors in celebration of his Regent Street flagship store opening in London in a semi casual look by the designer.

Dave Benett/Getty Images for Michael Kors
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