Even Madonna Can't Keep Up With Everything Madonna's Done

Madonna is very upset with the news that Universal plans to produce a biopic about her life, which is completely understandable. She's the master of her own image and mythology, and it's as important to her work as a pop artist as her records. Watching someone else attempt to author her own tale without permission while her career is still very much underway is very much not an enjoyable experience.

She already voiced her displeasure once in Instagram. "Nobody knows what I know and what I have seen," she wrote on Tuesday. "Only I can tell my story. Anyone else who tries is a charlatan and a fool."

Of course, Madonna has now managed to get a hold of the copy of the script, titled Blond Ambition, because of course she did. She's Madonna. Indeed, it might not have been that hard to obtain. Before Universal optioned the script it was passed widely around Hollywood to the point it was named the best unproduced script in town in last year's Black List. (For a fee, the scripts are easily searchable on the List's site.)

Taking to Instagram, she's now decided to point out factual errors in the script starting with the very first page.

"Lets start with the first page!!" she writes. "I was born in Bay City Not Detroit. And i did not drop out of high school in fact I went to University Of.Michigan. Why would Universal Studios want to make a movie about me based on a script that is all lies?? The Writer Elyse Hollander should write for the Tabloids. Anyone who supports this film is supporting lies and exploitation. lies have no legs!!"

This is true. Madonna was born in Bay City, she does have a high school degree, and she did go to the University of Michigan.

Except, there's a slightly embarrassing problem. The scene appears to be a reference to Madonna's 1984 appearance on Dick Clark's American Bandstand. An appearance one can call "iconic" without risk of overusing the word "iconic." It's the one where Clark asks the then new-to-the-scene singer what her dreams are and Madonna answers "to rule the world." Everyone with at least a 101-level appreciation of Madonna's entire career is aware of it.

It also happens to be easily findable on YouTube.

Yeah, you see the problem.

While in her Instagram, Madonna takes umbrage with the idea that she was a high school dropout and was born within Detroit city limits, it turns out that's almost word for word what she actually said during the appearance.

"No, no, I was born in Detroit, and I'm a famed high school dropout," fictional Madonna says in the script.

"Well, I was born in Detroit," says real life Madonna back in 1984.

"Then you went to New York," interjects Clark.

"Yes, I'm a, uh, I'm a famed high school dropout, so don't believe anything they tell you," replies Madonna.

It's basically exactly what happened, but slightly condensed.

We know your life is full of more important and exciting moments to remember then 90-second interviews with Dick Clark, but Madonna please just delete this. We'll promise not to see this movie if you do.

Update: And, she has deleted the Instagram. Ta dah!

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