Thanks to Lana Del Rey, Twitter twinks with too much time on their hands, and all of our collectively missed therapy appointments, “Daddy” no longer means just your actual father and instead can refer to, as Saturday Night Live put it, “a hot middle-aged guy with a big job.” With this week’s host, [Matt Damon],(http://www.wmagazine.com/topic/matt-damon) and cast member Kate McKinnon playing coanchors, the show reimagined the Westminster Dog Show as the Westminster Daddy Show in which the judges are looking for the best “men over the age of 46 with a little salt and pepper at the temples, some play money to throw around, and a smug, knowing smile that says, ‘I do sex good.'”
While we created our own taxonomy of fashion daddies last year, SNL decided to go with more classical archetypes like “West Palm Golf Daddy” and “Berkeley Tweedy Daddy.” With Aidy Bryant as no-nonsense judge Georgina Mont-Blanc, the sketch then leans into the surreality of seeing well-dressed older men being led around the floor and inspected like show dogs until a surprise winner is announced. Who needs outdated beauty pageants when, frankly, we could just have this?
It’s unclear what the winner of “Champion Daddy” actually gets aside from a wreath, but we assume it’s bragging rights at a steakhouse bar, a comfy seat in the dressing room during a Gucci shopping spree, the scorn of his ex-wife, and, in about 10 to 14 months, a lot of millennial-style drama that, frankly, he’s just too old to deal with.