SOCIAL STUDIES BY JESSICA CRAIG-MARTIN

Marina Abramovic Was Not Present

How to fit your entire career on one shoe.

W’s photographer on the scene turns her eye to the New York party crowd—finding Tilda Swinton, animal print, and some fashion fans along the way.

1

All you really need to transition from your day job at the Jiffy Lube to the MoMA gala is a wife beater and some epaulettes.

2

Totally, Tilda.

3

Its like a classic family photo with Lorde as the Satan worshipping pissed off teenage daughter. Except here the parents are twins involved in a polyamorous trio.

4

It was Tilda Swinton‘s birthday. Everyone took exactly one bite of cake just to prove they could do it. Cake. Eat a whole slice. Its the new Everest.

5

Never Too Much Animal Print. This is Nicki Minaj‘s family motto. Proceed with caution.

6

The gentleman who brought this caviar to the party told me “I have a guy, he calls me, he says ‘You want six tins of Beluga?’ I say, ‘Of course I do.’ I don’t ask questions. I don’t wanna know, because the more you know, the more you know, you know?” I said, “Yes.”

7

John is turning 50 for the second time. Turning that sexist bullshit upside down! Joan Collins better move over.

8

Larry and Pepe. Their exchange has turned Rachel’s expression in John Currin’s portrait from ‘Serene’ to ‘Your conjugal whisper is no surprise.’

9

On the eighth day, God created ruching. On the ninth day he like, totally changed his mind, but the order had already gone through.

10

Belt by Lisa Eisner. And look, it’s diamond o’ cock. Oops, I meant ‘clock’.

11

One day I will have show of just photos of Ricky Clifton sleeping at parties. Or publish an instructional manual. No one does it better. Why? Because no one cares like Ricky.

12

The Artist was Not Present.

13

Trendy tooth gap: Collection of Michael Ovitz.

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The always stunning Yvonne Force Villareal in vintage Valentino with vintage Rudi Stingel.

15

How to fit your entire career on one shoe.

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Art: Sherrie Levine. Boy: He had some very good points…

17

This man is smiling because: A. His fiancée has just told him she is totally over JAR B. He just learned he has won a Smart Car C. He owns over 90% of the world’s tattoo ink D. He has just patented the word ‘Swiss’ E. All of the above

18

Giancarlo Giammetti at his Sotheby’s book party with two devoted fans. Or is it four devoted fans? You decide.