Gather ye round, coven of the night, spinster sisters and witchy women, spell-casters, sorceresses, hags and hell-hounds, and cinephiles who are honestly over the Marvel Cinematic Universe. To open the 2019 Independent Spirit Awards on Saturday, host Aubrey Plaza invoked the spirit (the “Independent Spirit Awards spirit,” that is) of John Waters, Alexander Payne, Robert Altman, and other iconoclastic filmmakers as she rejected the Hollywood mainstream of sequels and reboots.
Going full Suspiria, Plaza was joined for this séance of sorts by Marcia Gay Harden, Christina Ricci, Marisa Tomei, and Rosanna Arquette (who is not Mira Sorvino, contrary to some reports). Brian Tyree Henry also showed up to (correctly) identify the ritual as “fucked up white girl shit,” but left before the authorities could convict him of a crime he didn’t commit: killing “bastard of the Netflix algorithm” Finn Wolfhard (of Stranger Things fame), a virgin sacrifice procured for the ceremony by Sharon Stone. He’s got four-quandrant appeal, and for this reason, he must die! Stone smoking a cigarette in a cave and cackling over bloody murder is honestly as good as television gets—sorry, Breaking Bad!
“We reject the Hollywood mainstream. Our future is with our sisters. Sealed in a bond with blood,” Arquette intoned, summing up the general mood of the #MeToo movement without calling it out, and reminding the audience that film is actually primarily a form of art and entertainment, and not just business.
True to the spirit (the…independent…spirit awards…spirit) of the night, honorary Head Witch Glenn Close brought her dog Pip onstage with her to accept the award for her performance in The Wife, and Amanda Seyfried accepted the Best Actor award on behalf of an absent Ethan Hawke. This is how all awards should be: The only men allowed are Brian Tyree Henry and dogs. See the full cold open clip below, ideally with a candle and smudge stick in hand.
The Ladies of Spider-Man Topped This Week’s Best Dressed List
Laura Harrier, in Calvin Klein by Appointment, arrives at the Premiere Of Columbia Pictures’ Spider-Man: Homecoming at TCL Chinese Theatre on June 28, 2017 in Hollywood, California.
Zendaya, in Ralph & Russo, attends the premiere of Columbia Pictures’ Spider-Man: Homecoming at TCL Chinese Theatre on June 28, 2017 in Hollywood, California.
Yara Shahidi, in Monse, arrives at the premiere of Columbia Pictures’ Spider-Man: Homecoming at TCL Chinese Theatre on June 28, 2017 in Hollywood, California
Karen Gillan, in Self-Portrait, arrives at the Premiere Of Columbia Pictures’ “Spider-Man: Homecoming” at TCL Chinese Theatre on June 28, 2017 in Hollywood, California.
Aubrey Plaza, in Coach, discusses The Little Hours at Build Studio on June 29, 2017 in New York City.
Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, in Gucci, makes an official visit to the new V&A exhibition road quarter at Victoria & Albert Museum on June 29, 2017 in London, England.
Gigi Hadid, in Jonathan Simkhai, attends a private event to honor Anna Wintour being appointed a Dame Commander of the Order of the British Empire on June 26, 2017 in New York City.
Kate Bosworth, in Brock Collection, attends the 2017 Palm Springs International Festival of Short Films – Awards Ceremony on June 25, 2017 in Palm Springs, California.
Zoe Saldana, in Giambattista Valli, arrives for the NALIP 2017 Latino Media Awards at The Ray Dolby Ballroom at Hollywood & Highland Center on June 24, 2017 in Hollywood, California.
Eiza Gonzalez, in Tome, attends Baby Driver photocall at the Villamagna Hotel on June 23, 2017 in Madrid, Spain.