It was only a matter of time before Lori Laughlin got the Saturday Night Live treatment. During Saturday night’s cold open, the embattled actress was played by Kate McKinnon in a raucous spoof of MSNBC’s Lockup.
The sketch unfolded in a jail cell, with Kenan Thompson’s prisoner bragging that he’s “the craziest dude in here,” because he killed his neighbor and “ate his fingers so they couldn’t ID the body.”
Loughlin immediately took issue with her cell mate’s bravado. “Oh yeah, you think that’s insane? I paid $500 grand to get my daughter into USC,” she said, referring to the college admissions scandal that erupted last March. “You think prison is hard? I have done 68 Hallmark movies. I have seen hell, man,” the actress added. “And in half those Hallmark movies, I married Santa’s son. So I have lost all sense of reality.”
The competition for who’s crazier got ramped up when Pete Davidson showed up as the embattled lawyer Michael Avenatti. “I’m accused of crimes you can’t even conceive of. Like blackmailing a sneaker company, and stealing taxes from a coffee company to fund a race car team, and I’m so shady that a porn star said she needed to distance herself from me,” he said. “And you know what the worst part is? I might still run for president. Avenatti/Baldwin 2020.”
Not to be outdone, a heavily bearded Michael Keaton as Julian Assange eventually showed up to let the people know that if anyone deserves to be behind bars, it’s him. “You want to know how crazy I am? Here’s how crazy I am: I’m wanted in the U.S. and Sweden, I’m from Australia, I live in London in Ecuador, you try figuring that one out,” the WikiLeaks founder said. “I’m an actual James Bond supervillain. And I’m one step away from destroying the goddamn moon.” Hey, we can’t argue there.
Of course, McKinnon could use some experience playing scammers. She's set to star as the Theranos founder Elizabeth Holmes in a Hulu miniseries later this year.