It turns out even Harry Styles is familiar with the agony and time suck that so often comes with texting—or not texting—an early crush. On Wednesday night in Saint Paul, Minnesota, the 27-year-old singer spotted a fan holding up a sign reading “SHOULD I TEXT HIM?” at his latest Love on Tour stop and resolved to put them out of their misery. In a true testament to his “treat people with kindness” slogan, he even paused the show.
“We don’t even know him!,” Styles said when the all-caps query flashed on the arena screen. Then, after pausing to contemplate, Styles got down to business. “In my opinion, if you should, this isn’t even a question,” he began as the crowd cheered.
“If you’re wondering, if we’re playing games…,” Styles continued, then paced about the stage muttering an internal monologue that may sound familiar: “I can’t text him too soon… Now I’m thinking about double-texting and that’s a whole other risky business… And now he’s ‘thumbsed’ it, so technically he was the last one to like, do something, but it still seems like a double text if I text him again…” Breaking from character, he summed it all up: “It’s a whole thing, okay.”
Styles’s solution, on the other hand, is refreshingly simple. “My personal opinion is that if there’s any sort of games…,” he began. Then, the budding actor launched into his best impression of Joan Allen as Anne Hamilton in The Notebook: “Trash! Trash! Trash! Not for you!” In other words, don’t text him—unless you’re feeling particularly vindictive and want to send