We were first alerted to the situation yesterday by the BuzzFeed headline, “People Are Freaking Out Over the Way Kendall Jenner Cuts Cucumbers — Like, They’re Calling It the Most Absurd Thing They’ve Ever Seen.” That’s a strong claim. We’ve seen a lot of absurd things in our life. In fact, the Internet flashes a steady stream of “absurd” things right into our eyeballs every single day. Sure that the headline was just BuzzFeed’s patented style of hyperbole, we didn’t bat an eye, and moved on to the next tab open in our browser. There’s simply no way people could possibly be “freaking out” about the way the Kardashian empire’s in-house supermodel chops up a vegetable. It probably isn’t even the oddest thing we’ve ever seen done with a cucumber, but we digress.
Yet, as the hours went on, the algorithm kept conspiring to bring our attention to this particular culinary technique. More headlines and Tweets followed.
“Obsessed with Kendall Jenner trying to prove she’s not an out-of-touch, spoiled, rich girl by insisting on making her own snack and almost dislocating her shoulder trying to slice a cucumber,” read one.
“[A]nytime you feel like you’re bad at doing something, watch [K]endall [J]enner chop a cucumber,” proclaimed another.
Okay, fine. Against our better instincts, we decided it was time to watch how Jenner, the proprietor of 818 Tequila and recent i-D magazine cover girl, decided to chop this damn cucumber.
Here is the clip in question:
Hmm, we see. Certainly not the standard way to cut a cucumber! Not even close!
Is it absurd? Or, as one Twitter user noticed by Jenner herself claimed, “tragic”?
It’s important to note that Jenner is not only attempting this culinary feat in front of a cameras—a potentially nerve wrecking situation in itself for kitchen amateurs—but she’s doing so while being watched and micromanaged by her own mother. Have you ever attempted to do a seemingly simple task while your mom jumps in and doubts your ability to do so? It’s a frustrating experience for most.
Still, we understand that certain corners of the Internet love to jump on any evidence that the uber-rich and out-of-touch-with-common-folks Kardashians are, in fact, very rich and out of touch. But we wouldn’t necessarily call evidence of that “absurd,” or even that surprising. (We’ve seen weirder things happen on Nailed It!) In fact, this isn’t even as weird as what Jenner attempted to do with a can of Pepsi that one time.
We probably would have been more shocked by Jenner perfectly preparing a vegetable stew than this.