RUBBERNECKING

The Most Insane Golden Globe Moments of All Time

The Mariah Carey’s New Years Eve of awards shows.


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If you want to see A-list celebrities earnestly thanking their agents, you watch the Oscars. If you want to see the performance that launches a million Beyoncé GIFs, you watch the Emmys. If you want to see drunken movie stars doing completely ridiculous things while accepting trophies of dubious provenance, then you watch the Golden Globes.

It really is the Mariah Carey’s New Years Eve performance of awards shows: things could go horribly awry at any moment, they often do, and when they do you will never ever forget them. Blame it on the booze, blame it on the loose rules of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, blame it on Miss Golden Globe. This has always been, and will continue to be, the ceremony that we rubberneck hoping that there will be a NASCAR-like disaster. And so often we are rewarded.

Here is a comprehensive history of all the insane things that have happened in the ballroom of the Beverly Hilton on a Sunday night in January.

1958: The Globes started out as a boring ceremony where real journalists gave out the awards. That is, until Rat Pack members Frank Sinatra, Sammy Davis Jr, and Dean Martin got blitzed and stormed the stage, injecting actual life into the affair. They were invited back as official hosts the following year, and the bawdy ceremony as we know it today was born.

1979: Accepting his Best Screenwriting award for Midnight Express, Oliver Stone railed against the United States’s drug policy. The crowd reacted with violent boos, host Chevy Chase told him to leave the stage, and eventually he had to be ushered off by security guards. Guess he always believed in conspiracy theories.

1980: She wasn’t the first or the last to liken the Golden Globes to a pair of breasts, but Bette Midler sure did it the best while accepting her trophy for The Rose.

1982: The way the awards are given out by the HFPA is always a little dicey, but they were really called into question when Pia Zadora bested Kathleen Turner and Elizabeth McGovern to win Best New Star of the Year Female for her derided turn in the bomb Butterfly. It’s widely believed her rich boyfriend Meshulam Riklis bribed the judges. The category was discontinued after the following year.

1984: It’s not like the Twitter-obsessed Cher to be left speechless, but that’s just what happened when she won for Silkwood. She told the audience, “Look at my dress until I think of something.” But it wasn’t really a dress. She was wearing a jacket and blouse on top and a leather skirt and fish nets on the bottom. Cher is always best when doing Cher.

1990: There was nothing controversial about Julia Roberts winning for her juice-drinking role as Shelby in Steel Magnolias but the slouchy men’s suit she wore to the awards was what we would call a big mistake. Huge.

Not okay.

1998: Yes, Christine Lahti won while she was in the bathroom and had to rush up to accept her trophy. We all remember. But I’ll give you $100 if you remember what she won for. Nope, no Googling.

1998: It was an especially crazy year when Ving Rhames won for Don King: Only in America and invited fellow nominee Jack Lemmon up on stage and gave away his award to the legend. Don King never would have done that.

1999: Back in her wearing-a-vial-of-blood-around-her-neck days, Angelina Jolie said if she won for Gia she would jump in the pool at the Beverly Hilton hotel. She did just that after the ceremony, dragging an Access Hollywood correspondent in with her. Remember when Angelina Jolie was still fun?

1999: Jim Carrey began his rise as a serious actor after winning for The Truman Show and making fun of his past filmography while taking the trophy. “It’s gonna be so hard to talk out of my ass after this,” he joked. Sadly his career didn’t always live up to the win, but he redeemed himself in 2016 by making fun of his two Golden Globe wins. If only there was a category for self-depreciation.

2001: Renee Zellweger also won while she was in the bathroom. She was shocked, and so was everyone who saw Nurse Betty.

2001: Almost as crazy as her photo with Michael Jackson at Liza Minnelli’s wedding was when Elizabeth Taylor presented the award for Best Drama. She was either confused or inebriated and didn’t know she had to read the nominees before the winner. Luckily Dick Clark, the show’s producer, came on stage and saved her, but even he couldn’t foresee the unhinged way she would pronounce the title of the winning film, Gladiator.

2003: Legendary Hollywood survivor Jack Nicholson was giving a bit of a rambling speech when taking the trophy for About Schmidt; it became immediately clear why when he confessed he had taken a Valium before the show. Never change, Jack.

2003: Maybe it was the Valium that kept Nicholson from telling former girlfriend Lara Flynn Boyle how ridiculous she looked when wearing a tutu on the red carpet, second only to Bjork’s swan dress on every Worst of the Red Carpet list.

Tutu much.

© AP

2003: Wow, what a year. Sharon Stone, looking like a flapper who went through a paper shredder, wouldn’t leave Richard Gere alone after presenting his trophy for Chicago. Sharon, no one needs your advice, especially when dressed like that.

2006: The craziest thing to happen wasn’t at the ceremony itself but outside on the red carpet when E! fashion analyst Isaac Mizrahi looked down Teri Hatcher’s dress, asked Eva Longoria about her personal grooming habits, and capped off the night by grabbing Scarlett Johansson’s boob. Some things are off limits, even for a gay dude.

2007: When he won for Borat A Long Title I Don’t Feel Like Looking Up on IMDb, Sacha Baron Cohen revealed that while filming his mockumentary he saw some dark parts of America. “I refer of course to the anus and testicles of my costar Ken Davitian,” he said, then likening the actor’s privates to “two wrinkled Golden Globes.” Bette Midler would be proud.

2008: The show is cancelled because of the Writer’s Guild of America strike. The winners were read in a boring hotel news conference. So, basically the same, minus all the drunk celebrities.

2009: Tina Fey used her Best Actress acceptance speech to directly confront some of the people who had said mean things about her on the internet. “Cougar Lover you can suck it,” she joked, not knowing that Cougar Lover was the Twitter handle of fellow nominee America Ferrera. Just kidding. It’s not.

2011: After wowing audiences with his “fearless” opening monologue the year before, the human embodiment of smugness Ricky Gervais bombed horribly. He managed to offend Charlie Sheen, Johnny Depp, the entire cast of Sex and the City, Hugh Hefner, and Mel Gibson. It’s one thing to be funny and mean, but Gervais forgot the funny part.

2011: Helena Bonham Carter solidified her reputation as the world’s kooky aunt by dressing in a pair of mismatched shoes and a dress that looks like a tablecloth being eaten by the alien from Aliens.

Terrifying.

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2012: Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it is true: Amercia’s greatest living actress Meryl Streep is human. In fact, she forgot her glasses to accept her statue for The Iron Lady and said the word “shit” and had to be bleeped on national television. If Meryl Streep can’t be trusted, what are we going to do the next time Jennifer Lawrence wins?

2013: Accepting a lifetime achievement award, Jodie Foster gave a speech she admitted from the stage her publicist would hate. She confirmed that she has been living as a lesbian for most of her adult life while at the same time telling everyone it was none of their business. This is the first time someone has come out as a lesbian while also saying that they want to go both ways.

2013: Adding some levity to the night, hostesses with the mostestes Amy Poehler and Tina Fey posed as Darcy St. Fudge and Damian Francisco, nominees from a fictional movie called Dog President. I’d pay $15.50 to see that.

2014: Taking a trophy for the movie Dancing on the Edge, Jacqueline Bisset seemed to be going over the edge and couldn’t stick to the script. Eventually she shared her biggest Hollywood beauty tip: “If you want to look good, you have to forgive everyone. It’s the best beauty treatment,” she said. Thanks, but we’ll stick to chemical peels.

2014: Claiming that the red soles of her shows were stained with her blood, Emma Thompson arrived on stage to present an award with a martini in one hand and her heels in the other. How did she think she was going to get the envelope open?

2015: You’ve seen Chrissy Teigen’s weird crying face in your email, on your Twitter timeline, and any time someone needs just the right GIF for a cringing occasion. You may forget that it started at the Globes, in reaction to her husband John Legend winning an award.

2015: While presenting with famous butt-haver Jennifer Lopez, Jeremy Renner referred to her boobs as “Golden Globes.” Bette Midler, or anyone else, did not find that amusing.

2015: During her opening monologue, Tina Fey listed off Amal Clooney’s accomplishments as a civil rights attorney and then openly questioned why her husband George would be getting a lifetime achievement award. This comes a few years after she said Gravity “is the story of how George Clooney would rather float away into space and die than spend one more minute with a woman his own age.” They’re like the Hulk Hogan and Randy Macho Man Savage of the Globes.

2016: Lady Gaga will never forgive Leonardo DiCaprio. He knows what he did.

Not nice.

Golden Globes 2017: Inside W‘s Epic Party with Emma Stone, Amy Adams, Barbra Streisand, Natalie Portman and More

Emma Stone

Photo by Landon Nordeman.

Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake

Photo by Landon Nordeman.

James Corden and Millie Bobby Brown.

Photo by Landon Nordeman.

Tom Ford and André Balazs

Photo by Landon Nordeman.

Hailee Steinfeld

Photo by Landon Nordeman.

Chris Pine

Photo by Landon Nordeman.

Viggo Mortensen

Photo by Landon Nordeman.

Caroline Vreeland

Photo by Landon Nordeman.

Lily Collins

Photo by Landon Nordeman.

LOS ANGELES – JAN 5: W Magazine hosts a party for the Golden Globes at the Chateux Marmont on THursday, January 5, 2017, in Los Angeles. (Photo by Landon Nordeman)

Photo by Landon Nordeman.

Colby Randolph

Photo by Landon Nordeman.

LOS ANGELES – JAN 5: W Magazine hosts a party for the Golden Globes at the Chateux Marmont on THursday, January 5, 2017, in Los Angeles. (Photo by Landon Nordeman)

Photo by Landon Nordeman.

Jordan Duffy

Photo by Landon Nordeman.

LOS ANGELES – JAN 5: W Magazine hosts a party for the Golden Globes at the Chateux Marmont on THursday, January 5, 2017, in Los Angeles. (Photo by Landon Nordeman)

Photo by Landon Nordeman.

Cuba Tornado Scott, Rivington Starchild

Photo by Landon Nordeman.

Tom Ford

Photo by Landon Nordeman.

LOS ANGELES – JAN 5: W Magazine hosts a party for the Golden Globes at the Chateux Marmont on THursday, January 5, 2017, in Los Angeles. (Photo by Landon Nordeman)

Photo by Landon Nordeman.

Lily Collins

Photo by Landon Nordeman.

LOS ANGELES – JAN 5: W Magazine hosts a party for the Golden Globes at the Chateux Marmont on THursday, January 5, 2017, in Los Angeles. (Photo by Landon Nordeman)

Photo by Landon Nordeman.

LOS ANGELES – JAN 5: W Magazine hosts a party for the Golden Globes at the Chateux Marmont on THursday, January 5, 2017, in Los Angeles. (Photo by Landon Nordeman)

Photo by Landon Nordeman.

LOS ANGELES – JAN 5: W Magazine hosts a party for the Golden Globes at the Chateux Marmont on THursday, January 5, 2017, in Los Angeles. (Photo by Landon Nordeman)

Photo by Landon Nordeman.

Kelly Rohrbach

Photo by Landon Nordeman.

Kacy Hill

Photo by Landon Nordeman.

LOS ANGELES – JAN 5: W Magazine hosts a party for the Golden Globes at the Chateux Marmont on THursday, January 5, 2017, in Los Angeles. (Photo by Landon Nordeman)

Photo by Landon Nordeman.

LOS ANGELES – JAN 5: W Magazine hosts a party for the Golden Globes at the Chateux Marmont on THursday, January 5, 2017, in Los Angeles. (Photo by Landon Nordeman)

Photo by Landon Nordeman.

Hailey Clauson, Andreja Pejic

Photo by Landon Nordeman.

LOS ANGELES – JAN 5: W Magazine hosts a party for the Golden Globes at the Chateux Marmont on THursday, January 5, 2017, in Los Angeles. (Photo by Landon Nordeman)

Photo by Landon Nordeman.

Andreja Pejic, Hailey Clauson

Photo by Landon Nordeman.

LOS ANGELES – JAN 5: W Magazine hosts a party for the Golden Globes at the Chateux Marmont on THursday, January 5, 2017, in Los Angeles. (Photo by Landon Nordeman)

Photo by Landon Nordeman.

LOS ANGELES – JAN 5: W Magazine hosts a party for the Golden Globes at the Chateux Marmont on THursday, January 5, 2017, in Los Angeles. (Photo by Landon Nordeman)

Photo by Landon Nordeman.
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Watch video interviews with the 2017 Golden Globes nominees here:

Golden Globes 2017: See What Everyone Wore on the Red Carpet

Natalie Portman in vintage Prada and Tiffany’s jewelry at the 2017 Golden Globe Awards.

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Millie Bobby Brown in Jenny Packham at the 2017 Golden Globe Awards.

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Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake at the 2017 Golden Globe Awards.

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Blake Lively in Atelier Versace at the 2017 Golden Globe Awards.

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Helen Lasichanh and Pharrell Williams at the 2017 Golden Globe Awards.

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Winona Ryder in Viktor & Rolf and Fred Leighton jewelry at the 2017 Golden Globe Awards.

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Naomi Campbell in Atelier Versace at the 2017 Golden Globe Awards.

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Drew Barrymore in Monique Lhullier and Harry Winston jewelry at the 2017 Golden Globe Awards.

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Janelle Monae in custom Armani and Forevermark Diamonds at the 2017 Golden Globe Awards.

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Nicole Kidman in Alexander McQueen and Fred Leighton jewelry at the 2017 Golden Globe Awards.

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Felicity Jones in Gucci at the 2017 Golden Globe Awards.

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Brie Larson in Rodarte and Forevermark Diamonds at the 2017 Golden Globe Awards.

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Emily Ratajkowski in Reem Acra at the 2017 Golden Globe Awards.

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Amy Adams in Tom Ford at the 2017 Golden Globe Awards.

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Sarah Paulson in Marc Jacobs at the 2017 Golden Globe Awards.

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Reese Witherspoon in Versace at the 2017 Golden Globe Awards.

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Lily Collins in Zuhair Murad at the 2017 Golden Globe Awards.

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Caleb McLaughlin, Finn Wolfhard, Noah Schnapp and Gaten Matarazzo at the 2017 Golden Globe Awards.

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Kerry Washington in Dolce & Gabbana at the 2017 Golden Globe Awards.

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Jessica Chastain in Prada at the 2017 Golden Globe Awards.

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Hailee Steinfeld in Forevermark Diamonds at the 2017 Golden Globe Awards.

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Issa Rae at the 2017 Golden Globe Awards.

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Natalie Morales at the 2017 Golden Globe Awards.

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Sistine, Scarlet, and Sophie Stallone at the 2017 Golden Globe Awards.

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Ruth Negga in Louis Vuitton and Gemfields x FredLeighton jewelry at the 2017 Golden Globe Awards.

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Mandy Moore in Naeem Khan at the 2017 Golden Globe Awards.

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Evan Rachel Wood in Altuzarra at the 2017 Golden Globe Awards.

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Thandie Newton in Monse and Harry Winston jewelry at the 2017 Golden Globe Awards.

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Priyanka Chopra at the 2017 Golden Globe Awards.

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BEVERLY HILLS, CA – JANUARY 08: 74th ANNUAL GOLDEN GLOBE AWARDS — Pictured: Actress/producer Viola Davis arrives to the 74th Annual Golden Globe Awards held at the Beverly Hilton Hotel on January 8, 2017. (Photo by Kevork Djansezian/NBC/NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images)

NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images via Getty Images
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