Cher’s Review of The Cher Show Is the Most Cher Thing Ever

“I’m not supposed to say that but I don’t care.”

"Power To The Polls" Voter Registration Tour Launched In Las Vegas On 1st Anniversary Of Women's Mar...
Sam Morris/Getty Images

If there’s one thing you can count on Cher for, it’s her unfiltered opinion. Her Twitter account is a shrine to her feelings, where she boldly delivers her 140-characters-and-counting takes on everything from Donald Trump to the best candy and the state of her career. As she famously tweeted back in 2012, “Whats going on with my career?” These days, that question can be answered on The Cher Show, a biographical play that is set to debut in Chicago on June 28—and, yes, Cher has some opinions on it.

The singer gave her review of the play to the Chicago Tribune and it’s the most Cher thing ever. Dubbing herself “the most critical person who ever drew breath,” Cher gave a totally honest assessment of the project, in which three versions of herself from across her career tell her personal story. “In many parts, it was much, much better than I thought it would be,” she said. “And there were no parts where I wanted to gouge my eyes out.”

“I think in some places it’s really good,” she said, before adding, “If they can impress me, they’re doing good. The girls who play me have so much to do. The lady who plays my mom is great. That’s a very important part. It starts the whole tenor of the project: How my mom treated me as a child. That is why I am how I am who I am now…I really love it when all the girls are together. In art you are talented or you’re not, so people are either talented or they’re not, and these people are all really talented. And those songs are hard.”

Another thing Cher liked were the portrayals of Sonny Bono, Gregg Allman, and Robert Camilletti, her exes. “But you know, I was really very surprised by how close to real these people feel,” she said. “Some of the boys are so on the mark, it’s creepy.”

That’s about where her applause ends, though. After fact-checking The Cher Show, the icon revealed, “We’re going to work on the other parts…It needs work. I’m not supposed to say that but I don’t care,” she said. “There are lines in the show that sound like quotes but aren’t quite right…I have a lot to say. And I am pushing them to do three dance songs in a concert-style way at the end, a bit like they do in Mamma Mia. I think the audience would like that.”

Cher’s biggest issue? The show isn’t true-to-life enough. “I think I’m honest,” she said. “My life is 72 years. My career is 53 years. So the show has to skip all over the place. I am actually pushing them to be more truthful about me. I’ve already said so much about my life. It would be silly for them to come up with a Mother Teresa.”