Everyone We’re Hoping Will Join Nicole Kidman in the Upcoming Roger Ailes Movie

There are still plenty of roles left to be filled—including that of Ailes himself.

Photographer: Juergen Teller Stylist: Zoe Bedeaux

The cast of the director Jay Roach’s upcoming film about the late former Fox News chairman and CEO Roger Ailes, which will no doubt be a story of demise, is starting to look livelier than ever. First came the announcement that Charlize Theron would take on the role of the former Fox News host Megyn Kelly, one of the biggest names to publicly allege she’d been abused by Ailes, after Gretchen Carlson opened the floodgates for dozens more to follow by filing a news-breaking sexual harassment lawsuit against her former boss, just two weeks after she left the network.

Now we finally have an idea of who’ll be playing the former Fox & Friends host Carlson: none other than Nicole Kidman. While the news has been met with fervor, it has yet to be confirmed, leaving us wondering who else might appear in what’s sure to be a(n extremely disturbing) blockbuster. (Particularly since another powerhouse Hollywood blonde, Margot Robbie, is rumored to be joining the cast as well.) Since only the best could tell such a serious story well, here’s our wish list for who should fill in the remaining role, complete with apologies to some of the actors—and a bit of schadenfreude.

Former Fox News host Megyn Kelly and Katherine Heigl.

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Katherine Heigl as Megyn Kelly

No offense to Charlize Theron, but since the cast is still being firmed up, it’s good to have a few backups in mind. In case she doesn’t end up playing yet another atomic blonde, it’s reassuring to know we have Katherine Heigl, who could in fact fill in for plenty of the blondes with a hint of edge about them on the roster.

Political commentator Ann Coulter and Laura Dern.

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Laura Dern as Ann Coulter

There has to be a little light to be found somewhere in the film, and while a cameo from the conservative commentator Ann Coulter doesn’t exactly seem like it’d fit that bill, it definitely would if it meant a little Laura Dern.

Fox News’s Tucker Carlson and Jason Bateman.

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Jason Bateman as Tucker Carlson

Jason Bateman’s almost always the good guy, but we know he’s got it in him to take on the role of Tucker Carlson, whose Fox News show now airs during O’Reilly’s former slot.

Fox News host Sean Hannity and Leonardo DiCaprio.

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Leonardo DiCaprio as Sean Hannity

Now that he’s an Oscar winner—and getting along in his 40s—Leo has proven himself enough of a master of transformation to take on the role of Fox News’s host of the Sean Hannity Show. (At least if he ever gets rid of that facial hair.)

Media magnate Rupert Murdoch and J.K. Simmons.

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J.K. Simmons as Rupert Murdoch

Though he’s more than two decades younger than Murdoch, J.K. Simmons could still get into character for the 87-year-old with some tuftier eyebrows, a pair of thick-rimmed glasses, and the right cosmetic magic.

Former Fox News anchor Greta Van Susteren and Ann Dowd.

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Ann Dowd as Greta Van Susteren

She may be nowhere near as much of a villain as Aunt Lydia in the Handmaid’s Tale (or, for that matter, most of those on this list), but Greta Van Susteren, who left Fox, defended Ailes, and then said she regretted that defense, all in 2016, is a role that needs to be played nonetheless. And Ann Dowd is more than equipped to do it.

Fox News contributor Tomi Lahren and Ashley Tisdale.

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Ashley Tisdale as Tomi Lahren

At just 25 years old, Lahren was no doubt familiar with High School Musical at at least some point during her youth. (Though the role might not have as much appeal to Tisdale, who’s currently working on a pop punk rebrand.)

Infowars’s Alex Jones and Kevin Spacey.

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Kevin Spacey as Alex Jones

In a perfect world, Kevin Spacey, who’s been repeatedly accused of sexual assault, would never have become an actor. At the same time, though, in a perfect world, Infowars’s Alex Jones—who, for example, has had the gall not only to stand by his conspiracy theory that “nobody died” in the “staged” Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting but to ask the parents whose children were victims to pay his legal fees that resulted from doing so—also wouldn’t exist. If there’s anyone who should have to bite the bullet and play such a real-life villain, then, it might as well be Spacey, in what would be his fittingly awful last hurrah.

Fox & Friends host Steve Doocy and Ed Begley Jr.

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Ed Begley Jr. as Steve Doocy

Carlson’s former cohost on Fox & Friends, who’s still cohosting the show, will no doubt be around in the film—perhaps in the shape of one Ed Begley Jr.

Former Fox News host Elisabeth Hasselbeck and Kristen Wiig.

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Kristen Wiig as Elisabeth Hasselback

For an impressions pro like Wiig, playing Carlson’s replacement on Fox & Friends would no doubt be a walk in the park. She did a pretty good job of it when she was on Saturday Night Live, after all. (And SNL alumnus Adam McKay, whos producing the film, loves to get dramatic turns out of comedians.)

Fox & Friends host Brian Kilmeade and Giovanni Ribisi.

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Giovanni Ribisi as Brian Kilmeade

Along with Doocy, Kilmeade was also once part of Carlson’s trio on Fox & Friends. He’s still on-air, and might soon be yet again in the (more serious) form of Giovanni Ribisi.

Former Fox News host Bill O’Reilly and Will Ferrell.

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Will Ferrell as Bill O’Reilly

Okay, hear us out here. Ferrell’s proven himself capable of serious roles in the past, but more importantly, he’s proven himself extremely capable of flying off the handle, which was essentially O’Reilly’s resting position on the O’Reilly Factor, before (and no doubt after) Fox fired him. (Like Wiig, he’s also familiar with McKay from SNL, too.)

Fox News’s former chairman and CEO Roger Ailes and Paul Giamatti.

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Paul Giamatti as Roger Ailes

We’re sorry, Paul Giamatti, but someone had to do it—and your forehead just so happens to fit the bill.

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