Kylie Jenner is about to turn 22, and she wouldn't be a member of the Kardashian family if she didn't pull out all the stops. So, on Friday, a day or two after she wrapped up partying on a yacht, Jenner continued pregaming for the big day on Saturday by posting a version of one of her "get ready with me" videos featuring her upcoming birthday collection—and, between herself and her "favorite sister" Khloé Kardashian, nearly 22 Don Julio shots.
The 20-minute, 35-second long adventure begins with Jenner announcing her planned binge and then holding up a glittery pink bottle of Don Julio—stamped, naturally, with her name in all caps. "There really isn't a more perfect occasion than to drink this with my sister days away from my 22nd birthday. Let's do this," she says before climbing into the backseat of one of her many cars. Fret not: her security will be driving her, she assures. "No drinking and driving here."
Cut to the video set, inside Jenner's office in Calabasas, where Jenner pans over a table littered with products from her birthday collection, such as a pressed powder palette stamped with the phrase "YOU'RE $O MONEY BABY," and the bar—aka the "party station"—which is stocked with several options, from regular Red Bull to sugar-free. Jenner opts for the regular one as a chaser and takes her first shot, before Kardashian's even arrives. Ominously, that's all less than one minute in.
Enter Kardashian, who's wearing a pastel pink Kylie Skin sweatsuit and quickly claims she's blinded by all the diamonds around Jenner's neck. Jenner chastises her for not parking in spot 22, and Kardashian shoots back with a dig at Jenner's choice of chaser. "You really are 22," she says. "I used to chase with Red Bull, too, but now that I'm 703..." she adds, trailing off as she opens a can of her own to, as she puts it, "keep up with you young hoes." To be clear, the shots are actually chugs taken directly from the bottle. At no point over the course of the video does a single shot glass appear.
By the time they finally sit down at the makeup table, Jenner has had five "shots," and Kardashian a conservative four. They begin by taking off their full faces of makeup, then calling up Sofia Richie with a plea to "come support us." After all, Jenner says, "honestly, I've never done my makeup intoxicated [before]."
Kardashian then shares that her friend Malika Haqq is the "queen" of doing her makeup when she's "intoxicated," which obviously merits a phone call from the pair. She declines their invitation to join them, leading them to turn to their only other option: their mom, Kris Jenner, who turns down the invite as well.
Meanwhile, they're still attempting to do their makeup. "I am an oily bitch," Kardashian remarks. She, like Jenner, has also been pregnant before, leading her to share the post-pregnancy tip of applying bronzer underneath her jawline to slim down her chin. Fittingly, Jenner opts for the shade titled "tequila tan." (Kardashian's other tip, about using Mr. Clean magic erasers during her pregnancy, leads her to declare that she "will do whatever that bald man wants.") They then move on to their eyebrows. "I think with brow time, shot time," Khloé says, and they chug.
At long last, the pair receives their first visitor: It turns out that Kris Jenner sent her boyfriend, Cory Gamble, in her stead. It's quite the favor, seeing as Gamble is then forced to awkwardly hang in the background, silently glancing between the pair, before he's spared by a call from their sister, Kim Kardashian, plus her kids, Saint and North West. Kim tells them that she was just watching them on YouTube, much to their delight. "That's great, they're going to use that part for sure," Khloé whispers to Jenner, gesturing at the video crew. Even Kanye West chimes in, saying that he misses them. "He spoke!" Khloé says, prompting her and Jenner to cheer. (Meanwhile, Gamble takes a shot and temporarily wanders off-camera.)
Then, Sofia Richie arrives, just as the pair is beginning to deteriorate. At this point, Jenner has a makeup stain on her white tee and is starting to drop more and more of her makeup on the floor.
From there, the video deteriorates, too. Kylie, who's wearing a bold amount of hot pink eye shadow, abandons her seat. Khloé joins her, running around behind and banging on the pastel pink backdrop. Richie and Gamble are barely amused, but they put up with it right up until the end, when Gamble reminds them all of the importance of eating food and drinking water.