The art of distraction still isn’t lost on our First Lady.
Riding a tsunami of criticism for wearing a questionable jacket to visit immigrant children at the border last week, Melania Trump—portrayed to perfection by Laura Benanti—swung by The Late Show in the hopes of smoothing over matters by assuring the nation that, no, her fashion choices really don’t mean anything. Nothing! Nada. In fact, she doesn’t even pick out her own clothing. That task goes to another Trump official.
“It is an honor to join one of the biggest, low-life, no-talents in late-night,” she told host Stephen Colbert, who was recently called such insults by President Trump on Twitter. (Same with Jimmy Fallon.) But on to more important matters: Did Melania herself pick out that Zara jacket to see the children, which read “I REALLY DON’T CARE, DO U?” in a casual graffiti style? A jacket that the White House said meant absolutely nothing in the grand scheme of things? “Absolutely not, no. It was picked out by my personal stylist, Stephen Miller,” she explained. “Oh yes, he’s got some chic arm-bands he wants me to wear next week. They’re red with little black windmills on them.” But don’t take that to mean she doesn’t know what she’s doing, swastika imagery and all. “Of course I’m not stupid, Stephen. I speak six languages,” she added. “Which is six more than my husband.”
And she’ll keep on distracting you with every fashion choice she makes. For now, that means we also have a hat that reads “F the Kids” (“yes, it stands for First the Kids”) and a shirt that declares “Believe My Clothing.” But it’s perhaps her latest parka acquisition that makes the boldest statement: “In the words of my brand-new jacket, how many more monstrous acts do I have to support before people finally start seeing me as complicit in this?”
We don’t know, maybe three?