Over the past couple of months, in the lead-up to the release of her latest album, Lover, Taylor Swift has opened up more than ever before. She finally got specific about politics, denouncing Donald Trump. She finally acknowledged her alt-right fanbase, asserting that "white supremacy is repulsive." She finally spoke with clarity about her feud with Kanye West, not to mention Scooter Braun. And yet, the extent to which she pulled back the curtains on Thursday night, when she appeared on the Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon, took even Swift by surprise.

Apparently, Swift recently had laser eye surgery, a procedure that she's never publicly discussed. When Fallon raised the subject, then, Swift was surprised—especially when he asked if they'd given her anything like laughing gas. "They definitely give you some pretty hardcore pills after you have a laser in your eye," she said, confused by the question. In response to her indignant "What is going on?," Fallon filled her in: They were about to witness the "world premiere" of a video that Swift's mom took of the singer post-surgery, which she supposedly passed on to Fallon without informing her daughter.

The footage begins with Swift wearing goggles, which are taped to her head, and distressing over the fact that, in search of a snack, she'd pulled the wrong banana from the bunch. Eventually, the situation reduces her to tears. Her mom fetches her a different banana, leading to the grand finale: Swift eating the banana in bed, insisting that she'll stay conscious: "I'm not asleep—my mind is alive." Watch her reach unprecedented levels of vulnerability, here.

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