The second season of You took us to L.A.—land of vibes, aura, and of course, astrology. Here’s a breakdown of each character and which sign they are. You won’t be that surprised to know the water signs are actually the ones starting the fire.
You might wonder who’s crazy enough to fall in love with someone they’ve never met on the internet. Someone they’re willing to uproot their entire life for. Someone like Will (Robin Lord Taylor)’s “girlfriend” in the Philippines. Then, of course, if I told you that same person was the victim of identity theft because they’re impulsive and have bad judgment—well, you’d know they were an Aries. This is obviously Will’s story. The great thing about Will is that, like any Aries, he knows he’s bat-shit and also doesn’t judge Joe for his brand of crazy. They’re almost made for each other—an Aries and a Scorpio. They both want intensity more than anything and even if it gets them in trouble.
Love quickly replaces Joe with Milo (Andrew Creer) after things go wrong. But it’s more performative than anything else. Milo is a Taurus. He gets totally obsessed with whoever he’s sleeping with and is more than willing to blow money on Love to make her feel comfortable and cared for. He definitely lives for the gram and posts obnoxiously perfect photos, too. As a Taurus, Milo wants to demonstrate his status. He’s all about showing off. Until, of course, he gets incredibly jealous of Love’s brother and the attention she gives him. That’s the thing about Taurus people—they do not like to share. They do not like competition.
Along with Gabe and her wife, Sunrise, Lucy (Marielle Scott) is one of Love’s closest friends, and is part of her “coven,” as Love likes call their friend group. (We’d be interested to find out if they actually practice witchcraft in season 3.) She has a thriving career as a literary agent, and is also a fabulous and devoted mom, She seems to love to socialize, and is deeply interested in performing super romantic gestures with Sunrise. For these reasons alone, all signs point to Lucy being a Gemini. Sunrise seems very Gemini, too, which makes sense. When it works out, Gemini-Gemini can be an amazing match, and Sunrise is a lifestyle blogger, which means to she likes to be in the know (and communicate) about what’s trending—total Gemini!
Yes, Cancers can be sweet and family-oriented, but they’re also total psychos when they want something. And what they want is control. (They are a Cardinal sign, after all.) Dottie (Saffron Burrows) needs to run the lives of both Love and Forty, her equally psycho children. She also will stop at little to make sure everyone finds her desirable and gives her the proper attention. Even if it means flirting with Love’s boyfriend, which—hello—isn’t that surprising for a Cancer. Don’t be fooled by their well wishes and docile smiles. That’s just a water sign being cunning and manipulative. Cancers want to be adored at all cost. They see themselves as the center of every emotional drama.
Leo: Dr. Nicky
It was exciting to see Dr. Nicky (John Stamos) come back in season 2; like any good Leo, you miss him even when you’re mad at him. Of course, even though he did some sleazy, unethical things in season 1 (like sleep with his patient, uh), poor Dr. Nicky is paying for a crime he didn’t commit this season and you can’t help but feel bad for him. But just like a Leo, when Forty shows up to get him to tell him the scoop on Joe, Dr. Nicky keeps quiet and goes back to his cell stoically. Dr. Nicky is a fixed fire sign who is resigned to his fate, even if it is wildly unfair, and is going to survive at all costs. So Leo.
We’re introduced to Fincher (Danny Vasquez), the cop who’s having an affair with the hot and brilliant Delilah, as not much more than a friend with benefits. But, like any Virgo, does the right thing in the end, killing Forty to defend his pregnant sister and her boyfriend (Love and Joe). A Virgo will always swoop in and do what needs to be done, after a meticulous process of investigation, and will be loyal to what they think is morally good. Plus, Delilah is definitely a Capricorn (see below), and Fincher has to be a Virgo to be so totally into her. Virgo-Capricorn is a match made in sexual heaven.
Ellie (Jenna Ortega) is savvy, ambitious, and incredibly judgmental. Does that sound like a Libra you know? It probably does, and that’s also probably why you’re friends with them. Libras are great at giving everyone a hard time and managing to come off as playful. It’s part of their appeal. And this is how Ellie acts with Joe. She’s fond of him, but she’s also the one person on the show who doesn’t kiss his ass and keeps it real no matter what. She has a great aesthetic eye and more opinions than people know what to do with. Libras are discerning, perfection-oriented creatures. They have a lot of style.
Joe (Penn Badgley) has to be a Scorpio. After all, he’s extremely obsessive (to say the least) and has otherworldly tenacity when it comes to pursuing his love interests. Although there’s obviously more going on with Joe than just his Scorpio-ness, his highly romantic side is evident throughout season 2. Once he falls for Love, he is all in. (Well, until those pesky last few moments of the season when he spots his sexy neighbor.) But this makes sense: Scorpios are loyal as they long as they believe their lovers are worthy of their attention, and by that point, Joe has decided that Love isn’t worthy after all, thanks to the whole murderer thing. Just like a Scorpio to have double standards.
The girlfriend who comes back to punish you after you left her for dead? Obviously Candace (Ambyr Childers) is a Sagittarius. Here’s the thing—most Sags are carefree and don’t hold grudges. They’ll forgive petty drama, look the other way when you’re being ridiculous, and more or less have your back forever. But if you’ve tried to harm them and they feel targeted, Sagittarians will retaliate by trying to ruin your life. They aren’t vengeful, but they will protect themselves. That’s how they see it. And Joe might think his Scorpio charm will save him, but Candace is equally as good of an actor as he is. Every Sagittarius knows how to get back at someone.
Delilah (Carmela Zumbado) has super Capricorn energy. She is the manager of her apartment building and relishes in her responsibilities—especially collecting the rent. But that’s just one of her jobs: She’s also a celebrity investigator reporter, meaning she’s always ready to get the dirt on famous people. She’s also devoted to her sister Ellie and will do anything to protect her. She takes everything she does very seriously and works tirelessly to try and protect future girls from Henderson’s awful actions. But she isn’t above having a little fun and she has some fun times with Joe, involving whiskey and junk food. (Two things Capricorns love.)
It’s not very obvious what Gabe (Charlie Barnett)’s deal is. I mean, he’s one of Love’s best friends, but he also gives Joe a private acupuncture sesh that feels sexual and weird at the same time. “Sexual and weird” should be on every Aquarian’s tombstone. Or business card, actually; we definitely want to keep their wild and free spirits around. At the end of the day, Gabe is in it for all the right reasons. He wants to help his friends. But you’re never really sure what he’s thinking. He’s that friend who looks at you and smiles, having decided on something about you that he’ll probably keep to himself.
It’s hard to imagine Love (Victoria Pedretti) as anything other than a Pisces. She’s enigmatic and has no shortage of romantic suitors. She portrays an overly sweet persona to the outside world, but underneath that façade is a set of other instincts that are surprising, usually vengeful, extremely sensitive, and wildly romantic. After all, she’s willing to commit murder to protect her true love, Joe, who with his Scorpio energy, stands no chance to resist her. Also, all her charming and thoughtful actions throughout the show feel very Pisces, as does her love of baking. All of those delicious cakes and cookies in Joe’s locker left us pretty envious—it’s hard not to be jealous of a Pisces’s care.