If you’re feeling a bit of costume anxiety with Halloween less than two weeks away, well, you’re not alone. So, as always in times of strife, it’s time to turn to the zodiac. Here’s your best bet for what to wear this year, inspired by the best of pop culture.
Aries: Lady Gaga’s Kermit the frog dress
Aries are not known for being reserved. What better way to show that than wearing Lady Gaga’s 2009 Jean-Charles de Castelbajac look to a Halloween party? Queen Gaga herself chose to wear this look to display her disdain for those among us who wear fur by comically showing us how ridiculous it looks to wear a bunch of dead animals (or muppets) on your back. We have a bit of a weakness for Kermit (note: he’s a Taurus), but of course, if the color green isn’t your thing, then by all means feel free to glue any muppet to your slinky dress and have a good time (Cookie Monster blue really does seem delightful, especially as an eyeshadow). Also, if no one wants to dance with you at any of the parties you attend, wearing your muppet costume, grab a few monsters off your back and dance with them. Remember, you’re an Aries: You can do whatever the fuck you want.
Taurus: Jack Nicholson in The Shining
A lot is said about how every Taurus loves luxury, comfort, and finely curated spaces. But Taurus is actually one of the most terrifying signs if you make them angry. They not only hold grudges, but they retaliate. Jack Nicholson in The Shining is exactly who we’re thinking of. This is an easy look: green plaid, dark mauve corduroy jacket, a wicked grin, and an ax, with some blood sprinkled on top. The way Nicholson charges towards that door is also something you should practice. But this should come easy for Taurus people—who are used to seeing what they want (or don’t want), and doing with it whatever they will! Please never argue with a Taurus, at least not about anything serious. And definitely not if you end up in a huge house, in the middle of nowhere, like we see in The Shining. In some ways, that locale is a Taurean dream. Though it can easily become someone else’s nightmare.
Gemini: Prince performing “Get Off” at the 1991 VMAs
If you’re a Gemini, you’d be crazy not to do a Prince look this Halloween. Obviously there are many, and obviously purple is the go-to color, but Prince’s exposed ass cheeks look at the 1991 MTV Video Music Awards is truly his most iconic. You need to find a vintage yellow suit and you need to cut out the ass cheeks. The top/blazer should also be cropped, and you definitely should not be wearing anything underneath. Slutty, attention-grabbing, and just incredibly odd—perhaps like a lot of Geminis you know. If you can add some texture—in any way, to any part of your look—that’s very Prince and very Gemini as well. Layers and texture (Stevie Nicks and her many scarves are also an option) is what Geminis like to seduce with. Until all the layers come off and their non-stop talking and command of the room are all you can feel.
Cancer: Courtney Love’s babydoll dress
With all the brown lipstick and long plaid skirts around these days, when you don your ’90s Courtney Love costume this Halloween, people may not know it’s a costume at all. That’s exactly why if you want to pay your respects to King Courtney, you need really do one of her classic looks: the 1994 babydoll dress. With this configuration, the babydoll dress itself will be the least hard thing to pull off (you could find something similar in any Goodwill). But for that purple sash/scarf, you may have to work a bit, as it’s just dripping with real ’90s energy—to the point that you really need to hunt it down in your aunt’s closet. To complete the look, make sure you get a really creepy old doll to tote around (extra points if it’s haunted, cause Courtney’s sure was) and some classy brass bangles. And of course, don’t forget to have your best friend scrawl the word “WITCH” (in that same brown-rose lipstick) on your arm. It’s the finishing touch for an iconic Cancer look.
Leo: J.Lo’s green dress
J.Lo’s outfit to the 2000 Grammy Awards is so famous it even has its own Wikipedia page. But this is appropriate because 19 years later, we’re still talking about that gorgeous Versace dress. If you’re a Leo reading this, you deeply understand its attraction: It’s sexy, magnetic, and downright magical, with its famous vertical dip down the front of her body. And then of course there’s that famous train down the back, because you know Leos like to make an entrance (uh, that’s an understatement). Brave and definitely not subtle, and that’s exactly what you should go for at Halloween parties this year, Leos. And if no one gets the reference, you can just tell them you’re dressed as a good witch. You won’t be lying.
Virgo: Keanu Reeves in My Own Private Idaho
Okay Virgos, this one has everything to do with the hair—Keanu‘s incredibly ’90s, somewhat shaggy, overgrown-but-not-yet-Kurt-territory cut. Paired with a black biker jacket, a gray hoodie, and—if you’re lucky—River Phoenix’s ghost holding on to you while you ride him around (don’t get any ideas) on your motorcycle. But seriously, Keanu couldn’t be a hotter hustler in this Gus Van Sant classic. You also have to give off brooding, “lost” looking, and more or less down-for-anything vibes. This may be hard for Virgos, but listen: It’s Halloween. You don’t need a list or a lot of planning for this look. It’s okay, Virgos! You can keep it simple. You actually may be able to have some fun in life!
Libra: Truman Capote at the Black & White Ball
Truman Capote knew how to throw a party. Obviously, Libras are excellent at this. Not only can they entertain but they have impeccable aesthetic taste and are the most refined sign in the zodiac. You’re going to need a killer tux or suit, and definitely a bow tie, as well as a face mask (it must be black or white) that looks like Batman meets Dior. It’s just so Libra to get a bunch of celebrities in a room, put masks on them, and ask them to socialize—and that’s essentially what Capote did at his Black & White ball in New York at the Plaza Hotel in November of 1966. A good prop with this look is a coup glass to carry around with you, or one of those long cigarette holders. Remember that while Libras are definitely weird and freaky, it’s all about elegance and polish. (At least at the beginning of the night.)
Scorpio: Björk’s pom-pom headdress
What with all the black cats and cauldrons, Halloween season was basically made for Scorpios—it’s like an entire month for Scorpios to have everyone under mind control. That’s not a new thing for them, as they love to direct things silently (going under the radar and affecting everything with their intense eye contact). But for some of them, going under-the-radar isn’t exactly how you’d describe their fashion choices—especially for a Scorpio like Björk. So, if you’re wanting to dress like one of your classic Scorpio sisters, there’s about 101 iconic Björk fashion moments to choose from. Arguably, none are as amazing as her pompom headdress (designed by Soren Bach) and worn for her tour in support of her album Volta. It’s said that she wore it to show she was “back,” after some years away from music. She wore it with a shiny pink dress but you can wear yours with anything (think: little black dress). Whoever you see on Halloween won’t be able to look away. Then again, you’re a Scorpio: No one would have been able to look away anyway.
Sagittarius: Britney Spears’s Catholic school girl outfit from “…Baby One More Time”
Well, this is a classic look—and a great irony because Sagittarians are the rule-breakers of the zodiac. When Sagittarians wear a uniform, they wear it ironically. So get some heather grey knee-high socks, a cropped cardigan of the same color, some black Mary Janes, and a classic white button-up tied in a knot to expose your belly button. And then, of course, the most important part of the look: the baby pink hair poms. All of it is obviously just giving you the illusion of innocence. Sagittarians love to be provocative, and to go against anything you’ve said or asked them to do. They are the contrarians of the zodiac. Sometimes, they will disagree with you just for fun. Britney is clearly wilding out in this video. (As she did in 2007.) She is the Sagittarius supreme. And probably one of the last great American rebels!
Capricorn: Dolly Parton’s cover outfit from her 1978 album Heartbreaker
If you’re a Capricorn, then you’ll probably agree that Dolly Parton is about as Capricorn as it gets. Loud, brash, and brilliant, Dolly gets things done and is ready to dominate. She’s also known to make a sparkly entrance when it comes to fashion (think: rhinestones), but some of her more amazing fashion moments come from when she’s trying to be more subtle—like her iconic 1978 album cover for Heartbreaker. It’s so classic ’70s, with loads of diaphanous cream pink folds, white lace, and candy pink ripples. She looks just like a human-sized rose, and you may be able to find something similar at a thrift store. If you can’t, just get a few yards of soft pink fabric at a craft shop and drape it everywhere as you wish. As you get ready, indulge in imagining the set for her iconic cover shoot. By the end of the night, you’ll probably end up a heartbreaker yourself.
Aquarius: Harry Styles draped in a gay pride flag
Is there anyone hotter than Harry Styles right now? We would suggest going as him in his new video, “Lights Up,” but that means you’d have to go naked and sweaty. If you’re up for that, you can stop reading—just make sure your face looks dewy and your hair looks beachy. But if you want to actually remain clothed, absolutely go for a Harry Styles white tux with a black shirt and a big gay pride flag draped around you, just as he did at his June show last year in Philadelphia. To be clear, this wasn’t just a pride flag: it also actually read “Make America Gay Again.” Styles has notably been ambiguous about his sexuality, and Aquarians are ambiguous and somewhat withholding with just about everything. But Aquarians’ looks are always on point. There’s a lot of shimmer, glitter, and electric blue, and definitely accessories—Styles loves rings and shawls. He’s sort of like our male Stevie Nicks. We’re obsessed.
Pisces: Rihanna’s spiky mini dress from her “Hard” video
The cliché about Pisces is that they are these soft, sensitive creatures who can barely deal with someone talking to them the wrong way without crying. Sure, this can be true some of the time, but anyone who’s known a Pisces well knows that they can also be the toughest sign in the zodiac. Cue Rihanna and her 2009 song, “Hard”—in which she says “no pain is forever” (we really hope that’s true)—and one of her classic looks is from that video: the spiky mini dress. The dress is from Bryce d’Anice Aime’s spring/summer 2010 collection, but taken off the runway and into Rihanna’s imagination, we see how strong it fits with what it’s like to be a Pisces: It’s slinky and sexy, with spikes to match. We wouldn’t fuck with this dress and we certainly wouldn’t fuck with a Pisces ever, which is why it will be a good look for you if you’re feeling extra tough this Halloween. If you’re on a budget (and who isn’t these days?), grab some cardboard and dark fabrics and begin your costume construction. Let everyone else wear their tacky witch hats. Go for spikes.