During a commercial break midway through the Golden Globes broadcast on Sunday night, a whisper swept across Twitter (and, presumably, across the ballroom at the Beverly Hilton hotel): Taylor Swift had arrived, ushered in after the red carpet in what seemed to be a surprise appearance. (Fortunately for Swift, not in a suitcase.) A few minutes later, Swift, in a Versace look, stepped onto the stage alongside Idris Elba (with whom she stars in the upcoming Cats, and who also moonlights as a Coachella-playing DJ) to present a couple of the night’s musical awards categories: Best Original Song, which Lady Gaga (and a spotlight-stealing Mark Ronson) won, and Best Score, which Justin Hurwitz won for his theremin-heavy First Man score.

It’s only natural that, given that her boyfriend, Joe Alwyn, whose film The Favourite was up for five awards (and earned a Best Actress win for Olivia Colman), was in the audience, they would find each other at the end of the show. Perhaps less natural, though, were the pains they took—and are still taking—to keep their relationship low-key, to hardly be spotted in public together.

Per E! News, the couple arrived separately to the Fox, FX, and Hulu afterparty (The Favourite is distributed by Fox Searchlight); upon getting there, Swift “beelined” to the table where Alwyn et al. had congregated. (This was Alwyn’s only red carpet appearance; he was not photographed by stock photographers at any of the other parties they attended throughout the night, and Swift did not appear with him in the red carpet photos from the event.) Swift, apparently, got on great with Nicholas Hoult; they also spent some time with Emma Stone, with whom Swift has been friends for quite a stretch, and Rachel Weisz (and her husband, Daniel Craig).

At first glance, I thought perhaps they had attended separate parties; they were never photographed on a red carpet together, and each was only professionally photographed at one single party despite actually attending three: Their next stop was the Netflix party, where, a source told E! News for the same story, there was minimal PDA. (But come on, they’re dating, they can be forgiven a little affection, public or otherwise.)

They stayed at the Netflix party only briefly before making their way to the Warner Bros. and InStyle party. Here, Swift was photographed on the red carpet—alone, though by E!’s account, they stuck together for the evening. They even dared to kiss and hold hands throughout the night, as couples sometimes do. Still, they’re taking great pains to not really be especially public about their relationship—the two cardinal rules, apparently, still being: Don’t be photographed together, and don’t utter each other’s names.

Related: Reintroducing Joe Alwyn, Hollywood's Next Great Leading Man