Last night, another epic event was added to the Kardashian Kannon. Kourtney Kardashian turned forty, and the famous family, of course, pulled out all the stops. It feels worth noting the Kourtney is an Aries. It makes sense, no? According to Astrology.com, Aries are “blunt” and “to the point.” And last night, the Kardashians and co. honored one of Kourtney’s most famously blunt moments.
Even those who don’t watch Keeping Up With the Kardashians have likely seen one transcendent clip online: Kim Kardashian (pre-West) loses a diamond earring in the clear turquoise seas of Bora Bora, proceeds to sob in a manner befitting the very recently bereaved, and Kourtney gives one single, endlessly GIF’d response. ”Kim,” she says in trademark monotone. “There are people that are dying.”
And last night she had napkins that said “There are people that are dying.” Incredible! They should sell those. It seems like the “people that are dying” napkins could have higher profit margins than Flat Tummy Tea.
Kourtney also honored another one of Kim K’s less-than-loving sibling moments, printing bottles with her face and the caption “least interesting to look at” in reference to a savage fight from last season.
And then there was the cake: an exact replica of her nude, gluten-free body perched on the edge of a bathtub, a recreation of a photo she posted on Instagram to promote her new lifestyle site, Poosh. We wonder what it is like to literally consume one’s own naked flesh, especially as a Kardashian. Metaphor-wise, it’s a bit on the nose.
All of the Kardashian-Jenner sisters were of course present at the party: Kim and Kourtney both sported glittering black Versace (Kim’s was a 1997 vintage look), and Khloe busted out a sequined Yousef Al-Jasmi gown with matching headscarf, a similar look to the one she wore to Kris Jenner’s Great Gatsby–themed 60th birthday party. Kylie attended with boyfriend Travis Scott, and Kris Jenner brought her mother, MJ.
Other guests included Khloé’s ex French Montana, Kanye West, Paris Hilton, Quavo, and the mega-influencer Luka Sabbat (there were recent rumors that he was dating Kourtney). Scott Disick was also present, though there were no sightings of girlfriend Sofia Richie.
Both Sia and Robin Thicke performed at the party, and guests were encouraged to take home their own $200 bottles of tequila with custom engravings. We hope Poosh has a listing for hangover cures.