Actually, Poosh Might Be the Most Human Thing About the Kardashians

Kourtney Kardashian’s new lifestyle venture is not what it seems.

Courtesy of Poosh

Thanks to Kourtney Kardashian, you may have recently found yourself asking a question that almost certainly never crossed your mind before this year: What, exactly, is Poosh? On Tuesday, just two days after the premiere of the 16th season of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, and just over two weeks ahead of her 40th birthday, the eldest Kardashian sister finally explained. Well, sort of.

“It’s a place of discovery,” she told Vogue of her “modern guide to living your best life.” As for what that “life” looks like, allow Poosh’s “about” page, which urges its readers to think of it “as a really good friend…but way less judgy,” to explain: “Living a healthy life doesn’t mean you must forgo a sexy pair of stilettos (we’re not even telling you to abstain from leather), a kick-ass eyeshadow palette (we prefer non-toxic, but we won’t shun you if you’re not ready to toss your favorite Chanel), or a juicy burger (gluten bun and all).” (In other words, yes, it looks like Kourtney really has returned to eating gluten and dairy.)

It only took a few hours after its launch, though, for the honesty that’s usually shown to “really good friends” took another turn, with the Internet criticizing Poosh for everything from being “staggeringly useless” to appearing to take credit for the invention of avocado toast. And, for the most part, they’re fair criticisms—at least, assuming that, as has been widely speculated, Poosh really is trying to be the new Goop.

There’s no need to go as far as scrutinizing the semantics of its tips on avocado toast, though, to confirm that Poosh is not Goop. The proof of that has long been front and center, thanks to the fact that Poosh has been advertising itself with images from a photo shoot of Kourtney posing with an uncorked bottle of champagne, which she’s pouring out into an attractive bathtub. As one Twitter user put it, it’s “literally the definition of what to do when you’re simply bored and you have too much money sitting in your bank account.” (Or, if that sounds too harsh—not that it’s a bad thing—Poosh is essentially Goop’s millennial little sister, who’s entirely shameless about doing it for the ‘gram.)

Technically, it’s more likely that Kourtney is doing it for the optics, on the heels of a season in which her sisters repeatedly teased her for being the family’s only non-entrepreneur. In any case, Poosh contains many hints that Kourtney is at the very least doing it for the money—even without its e-commerce portion up and running. There is little to no distinction, for example, between product listicles like “Organic Wines to Try” and more standard blog posts like “How to Look Good Naked”; the latter are often interspersed with so many shop-out links that they read like a series of koans.

Of course, there are exceptions. You won’t find a single outside link in “How to Make Zucchini Sticks,” for example, which apparently exists only as a service to Kourtney’s target audience: “the modern woman,” who she caters to on Poosh’s YouTube page, too. (Though videos like “How to Make a Non-Toxic Cleaning Solution” still have yet to hit 300 views.)

“Kris Jenner On How To Be A Boss,” on the other hand, has already shot up to 18,000-plus—and arguably broken the record for the grainiest, most lo-fi content that a Kardashian has ever intentionally released. Don’t be deterred, though: The more than 11 unedited minutes’ worth of footage that follow is a world away from Keeping Up in the realm of reality TV, showcasing what might be one of the most genuine documented moments in Kardashian history. It’s announced, only a minute and a half in, by a loud, clearly unexpected crashing noise that comes from somewhere off-screen, bringing Jenner’s candid discussion of her mornings to an end. (By the sound of it, if you’re wondering, Jenner tends to start off her day with either “hiring someone” or “firing someone.”)

A still from Poosh’s video “Kris Jenner On How To Be A Boss,” featuring Kourtney Kardashian and Kris Jenner.

Courtesy of Poosh

What follows is something so rare that at first, it’s impossible to identify the emotion plainly displayed across Kris’s face, which lingers even after she swivels around to shoot a death glare over her shoulder and yells, “Can we not do that?” Jenner is not just caught off guard; she’s caught off guard by the fact that she’s been caught off guard, and apparently needs a few seconds staring blankly into Kourtney’s eyes to process it.

And, then, just like that, she’s back, telling Kourtney about how she wants to “Poosh” herself to exercise more. Indeed, she’s chatty enough that even Kourtney can zone out for a bit, not even pretending to nod along as, unobscured by the usual producers’ camera cutaways, she checks her phone.

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