In the premiere episode of Life of Kylie, we saw Kylie Jenner travel to Sacramento to surprise a fan on prom night. The episode ended in a devastating cliffhanger. Will Albert say yes to Kylie’s promposal? Or will he decide to take the free custom tuxedo he was just fitted for and go home alone? I honestly don’t know him well, but I think he’ll probably consider going to prom with the most famous 19-year-old in the world.
Snaps to remember in the life of Kylie:
Kylie bursts into Albert’s day-of-prom-tuxedo-fitting and he seems… happy?
Actually, Albert’s reaction is mostly stunned silence. Look closer: he seems surprised and terrified at the same time. It’s fun to think about all the producers watching this surprise and being upset that Albert didn’t emote more; screaming and crying would’ve been much more suitable to reality-tv norms. There were so many meetings about how they could make this look more exciting. The poor kid just can’t move.
Victoria books a flight so Tokyo’s boyfriend can crash Albert’s prom, because Tokyo dropped out of school before he could ever go to prom. She says she “loves love” and then points to an engagement ring, but we never get any other details. The mysterious Victoria origin story grows ever more curious…
Just before leaving for the venue, Albert admits that he didn’t even know where the prom was being held. Albert, my man, why are you at a tuxedo fitting then? There are so many layers to this young man that we will just never understand.
Kylie and the crew show up at Albert’s prom and this episode goes from zero to My Super Sweet Sixteen in a hurry.
This episode is one or two music changes away from a horror movie. There are screaming teenagers chasing Kylie and Albert around a banquet hall and they barely make it to an elevator before the mob is about to totally consume them. It’s both ridiculous and also a glimpse into how terrifying it is to be Kardashian family-famous.
Before we head home, we hear from the prom queen who is very much okay with Kylie stealing her thunder and not at all mad that everyone is talking about Kylie and not her. She’s not really mad, you guys. You’re mad. She actually thinks it funny.
And just like that, Kylie is out of Albert’s life. Good luck, Albert. It will never be weirder than this.
In our second A-storyline (what a packed half hour!), Kylie chaperones Jordyn’s blind date with a friend of a friend. Instead of just watching from afar, she communicates with her using an earpiece and a walkie-talkie. This is a bit we’ve seen on every celeb-reality show in history, so it sort of lands with a thud. Kylie doesn’t even feed her any embarrassing lines. What are we even doing here? Stir the pot, Kylie!
After the unsuccessful date, Kyle goes to therapy for the first time. Not because of the date, but just because she wants to go to therapy. How do I know she went to therapy? Because I’m a professional TV critic who understands storytelling in a way you probably never will.
Oh, that too.
I bet you want to know which therapist Kylie visits, don’t you?
She’s a real therapist, you guys. She keeps these conversations on national television PRIVATE.
So far there is no difference between a regular confessional interview and therapy, aside from seeing the back of the therapist’s head and the elegant fish tank. Intrigued to see this relationship develop and also find out if any fish die.
We end episode two with a midnight walk on the beach. Jordyn and Kylie discuss their goals for the year and ponder how long “this fame thing” will last. (Don’t we all??)
To be honest, I don’t know how long it will last, but I hope it doesn’t involve any more blind dates.
The quote that defines the life of Kylie this episode:
“I’m not that type of person where I want all the attention.” —Kylie Jenner
Kylie Jenner, the Youngest Kardashian, Has Undergone the Most Complete Style Transformation
Kylie Jenner, Caitlyn Jenner (formerly Bruce Jenner), Kendall Jenner, and Kris Jenner at the world premiere of The Emperor’s New Groove in Hollywood, California, December 2000.
Kylie Jenner at the Matrix at A Time for Heroes Celebrity Carnival Benefiting the Elizabeth Glaser Pediatric AIDS Foundation in Los Angeles, June 2008.
Kendall, Kris, and Kylie Jenner at the 102.7 KIIS-FM’s Wango Tango in Irvine, California, May 2009.
Kylie Jenner at the release party for Selena Gomez’s Kiss and Tell in Hollywood, September 2009.
Kendall Jenner, Kim Kardashian, and Kylie Jenner at the Teen Choice Awards in Universal City, California, August 2010.
Kendall and Kylie Jenner at the premiere of Justin Bieber: Never Say Never in Los Angeles, February 2011.
Kendall and Kylie prove their twinning days aren’t behind them at the premiere of Prom in Hollywood, April 2011.
Kylie Jenner at the Race to Erase MS in Century City, California, May 2012.
Kylie Jenner at Fashion’s Night Out in Los Angeles, California, September 2012.
Kendall and Kylie Jenner, honing their fashion consultant chops, go on Good Morning America to discuss spring trends, February 2013.
Kylie Jenner wore a dress by Msfts, the label by then-reported boyfriend Jaden Smith, to the Kids’ Choice Awards in Los Angeles, March 2013.
Kylie Jenner opted for white and nude, a palette she’d come to favor down the line much like sister Kim Kardashian, at the MTV Movie Awards in Culver City, California, April 2013.
Kylie Jenner opted for a sleek black two-piece look to attend the premiere of After Earth (the movie fronted by rumored boyfriend Jaden Smith) in New York, May 2013.
Jenner opted for a tonally appropriate graphic tee to walk the red carpet with Jaden Smith at the premiere of Ender’s Game in Hollywood, October 2013.
Kylie Jenner, in Maiyet and Giambattista Valli, debuted a new hair style when she walked the red carpet with sister Kendall at the American Music Awards in Los Angeles, California, November 2013.
Kylie Jenner in Alex Perry with Louboutin heels at the Billboard Music Awards in Las Vegas, Nevada, May 2014.
Jenner opted for an orange Nicolas Jebran minidress, contrasting with her sister’s Fausto Puglisi, at the MuchMusic Video Awards in Toronto, Canada, June 2014.
Kylie Jenner in Alexandre Vauthier with Gucci heels at the MTV Video Music Awards in Inglewood, California, August 2014.
Jenner opted once again for Alexandre Vauthier, this time in burgundy, for the American Music Awards in Los Angeles, California, November 2014.
Kylie Jenner in Steven Khalil at the GQ Grammys afterparty in Hollywood, California, February 2015.
Kylie Jenner appeared front row at the 3.1 Phillip Lim show — wearing Phillip Lim, naturally — during New York Fashion Week Fall 2015 in New York, New York, February 2015.
Completing the arc that brought her into Olivier Rousteing’s fold, Kylie Jenner wears Balmain at the Billboard Music Awards in Las Vegas, Nevada, May 2015.
Kylie once told us her mom is her style icon — so it makes sense they would pair up on the red carpet, too. Here, Kylie Jenner wears a Cushnie et Ochs top with Alaïa leggins and a Kimora Lee Simmons coat for the premiere of The Gallows in Los Angeles, California, July 2015.
Kylie Jenner in Shady Zeineldine at the ESPYs in Los Angeles, California, July 2015.
Jenner steps out with a bleached ‘do and a new pantsuited look, sitting front row at the Prabal Gurung show during New York Fashion Week Spring 2016 in New York, New York, September 2015.
Wearing Balmain x H&M, Jenner appeared at the launch of the capsule collection in New York, New York, October 2015.
A regular at the American Music Awards, Jenner went custom for the 2015 edition in Bryan Hearns in Los Angeles, California, November 2015.
Also a regular at Vera Wang, though perhaps an unexpected one, Jenner went full-on Kylie Minogue during the Fall 2016 season at New York Fashion Week in New York, New York, February 2016.
Jenner called on Olivier Rousteing to outfit her for last year’s Met Gala, wearing custom Balmain to the Costume Institute gala for Manus x Machina in New York, New York, May 2016.
Jenner sat front-row at Jonathan Simkhai in a denim ensemble with a skull cap during New York Fashion Week Spring 2017 in New York, New York, September 2016.
Here are the real heroes of the Kardashian-Jenner family empire: