Of all the devastating celebrity breakups that rolled through 2018, perhaps the most gutting of all was the split between Jenny Slate and Chris Evans. The Internet-beloved couple began dating in 2016, called it off in 2017, got back together shortly thereafter, and then parted ways again in early 2018; through it all, they continued saying simply the nicest things about each other: “She’s my favorite human,” Evans said of Slate; “His heart is probably golden-colored,” Slate said of Evans.
But why was everyone so invested in their relationship from the start? Evans was recently posed the question in an interview with Men’s Journal, on whose cover the actor currently appears. Was it, the writer proposed, “because folks figured him for someone more, well, bro-ish”? Evans thinks yes! (Not that that’s a leading question or anything.) “I think she may have even, at first,” he went on. “But then she was just like, ‘Man, you’re not like what I thought you were going to be.’”
Slate, and everyone else, was not wrong to think of Evans as a little bit of a bro, though: “I can speak fluent bro, but I don’t consider myself one. I wear a hat, and I drink beer, and I like sports,” he said. Sounds like a bro. “But I was a big theater dork in high school, you know what I mean?”
Evans hasn’t been publicly linked with anyone else since his most recent split with Slate (she, by contrast, is rumored to be dating curator Ben Shattuck, because everyone wants an art bro now and not, say, Captain America), but he’s still looking forward to settling down, apparently. “I really want kids. Yeah, I do. I like pretty pedestrian, domestic things. I want a wife, I want kids,” he said. “I like ceremony. I want to carve pumpkins and decorate Christmas trees and s--t like that.” In a few short sentences, Chris Evans, the Avengers's best ass, transformed himself into a dad.
In his quest for domestic bliss, there’s one important thing to know about Chris Evans. If there’s one thing he is, apparently, not looking for in a relationship, it’s someone who “adopts” his “life,” he told the Hollywood Reporter, because “that can feel a bit suffocating.” Duly noted.