Move over, Ariana Grande. Justin Bieber and Hailey Baldwin are officially engaged. Following rumors that broke over the weekend, Bieber confirmed the news on Monday night via Instagram, posting a black-and-white photo of Baldwin sitting on his lap and kissing his cheek—even though Bieber is sporting that mustache that she apparently rather hates. Oh, and she also has her arm draped around his neck—all the better to show off a simple band that's presumably her new engagement ring.
Accompanying the photo is, of course, a lengthy caption—one written in Bieber's signature punctuation-averse, typo-friendly style. "Was gonna wait a while to say anything but word travels fast, listen plain and simple Hailey I am soooo in love with everything about you! So committed to spending my life getting to know every single part of you loving you patiently and kindLY," he wrote, perhaps referencing his father's early Instagram post, and continuing on to—gasp—suggest that they may soon be having children. "I promise to lead our family with honor and integrity letting Jesus through his Holy Spirit guide us in everything we do and every decision we make."
From there, Bieber, 24, addresses not his 100 million Instagram followers, but Baldwin, 21, directly: "My heart is COMPLETELY and FULLY YOURS and I will ALWAYS put you first! You are the love of my life Hailey Baldwin and I wouldn’t want to spend it with anybody else. You make me so much better and we compliment eachother so well!! Can’t wait for the best season of life yet!"
Bieber and Baldwin have known each other since 2009, and dated briefly from 2015 to 2016. Ever since he (now truly officially) broke things off with his longtime girlfriend Selena Gomez, he and Baldwin have become the country's foremost representatives of PDA. As for the future, he seems like he couldn't be more thrilled to spend it with Baldwin, and not just for his own sake: "The thing I am most excited for is that my little brother and sister get to see another healthy stable marriage and look for the same!!!"
In case you weren't aware, Bieber and Baldwin are both prominent figures of Hollywood's ever-growing church set, making it only a matter of time before religion squeezed its way into the news. Baldwin, for her part, soon tweeted that she is "so utterly grateful to God for giving me such an incredible person to share my life with!" God also squeezed his way into Bieber's word count, too: "Gods timing really is literally perfect, we got engaged on the seventh day of the seventh month, the number seven is the number of spiritual perfection, it’s true GOOGLE IT! Isn’t that nuts? By the way I didn’t plan that, anyways My goodness does feel good to have our future secured!"
At long last, Bieber concluded with "WERE GONNA VE BETTER AT 70 BABY HERE WE GO!" and, finally, a proverb from the Bible: "He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains FAVOR from the Lord!” (The exclamation point and all-caps are, of course, embellishments of Bieber's own.)