On last night’s episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians, Khloé Kardashian spoke with best friend Malika Haqq about the state of her relationship with basketball player (and serial cheater!) Tristan Thompson. The episode, filmed before the couple officially broke up, showed Haqq’s visit to Kardashian in Cleveland, where Kardashian attempted to explain why she had chosen to stay with her partner after a massive cheating scandal (Thompson was caught on film with multiple women just days before Kardashian gave birth to their daughter, True). She claimed that everything was “fine,” but Haqq concluded that she was putting on a “brave face.”

Kardashian admitted that “really hard to regain trust.” “I’m someone where the energy I have towards True, that’s all that matters to me,” she explained. “If that starts to be affected by me wondering, ‘What’s Tristan doing? Where is he?’ — I will be out in two f—ing seconds. Nothing is worth that for me.”

Haqq asked if Kardashian was still in love with Thompson. “I am in love,” she said. “I know I love him. But still, I’m not going to act like nothing’s wrong...[Thompson] counts — ‘It’s been seven months [since the cheating scandal].’ I’m like, ‘So it’s been seven months.’ I’m allowed to do things when I want to do it” Kardashian continued. “But he also needs to know: ‘Your one stupid weekend or whatever you did, look what it did to three years of a relationship. It just demolished it. So was that worth it for you?’”

“I appreciate the efforts he has put in and he does self-help and therapy an whatever he does for himself, I really am grateful for that,” she added. “And he knows I’m still trying. I don’t have to come here. That’s a huge responsibility and a weight on my shoulders to come back and forth. If I didn’t feel anything, I wouldn’t be here. But I still have to get to the next phase and then we’ll get there.’“

Kardashian and Thompson would officially break up in the wake of news that he had cheated with Kylie Jenner’s best friend Jordyn Woods. But as of the episode’s taping, Kardashian seemed to believe they would stick it out. “We’re working through things,” she said. “But I’ve also dealt with situations where I’ve ignored it. Like, ‘I forgave, so I’m moving on.’ I acted like nothing happened and that did nothing for my partner.”

“You can face certain things and get through certain things that other people couldn’t even fathom,” said Haqq.

“I know,” said Kardashian. “Cheers to being strong girls.”