As the year reaches its end, we think we can all safely assume it’s been a wash. President Donald Trump‘s antics have pushed us to the edge, and 2017 has offered little in the way of relief. One of the few bright spots? Well, at least we got the introduction of Rihanna’s Fenty Beauty, which Time magazine recently named one of the inventions of the year.
Though, otherwise the year has been so bleak that you can’t help but to fantasize about how the world might have been if things were just a little bit different. Well, thanks to a viral Tweet, we have a starting point. Apparently Twitter user Callie Hobson was just idly scrolling through her feed when she noticed that not only did the suggested accounts section offer up a strange selection, but a glitch accidentally switched their bios. The accounts in question? Those of Rihanna and Donald Trump.
It was Westworld and Thor actress Tessa Thompson who noticed the Tweet and sent it on its viral way:
Never mind the fact that Rihanna is not actually an American citizen, Twitter couldn’t help but hype the idea of having her as our commander-in-chief instead. Even if the switch meant that Trump was hawking his own beauty brand. A small price to pay.
Below is probably what we’d have to endure from Trump Beauty. It might not be the most enticing beauty-wise, but it would be preferable if Trump spent his past year putting this together instead of trying to run the country.
- Precisely one shade of foundation. It’s orange, but don’t worry, Trump swears it magically looks good on everyone. Finally, a one-shade-fits-all solution!
- A matte lipstick in a similar but not quite the same shade, because not being able to tell exactly where your face ends and your unnerving thin lips end is the hottest trend in beauty right now.
- A clown white eye shadow to really bring out your eye’s natural puffiness (apply it below your eyes too for maximum effect).
- A bonus contouring kit to make your actual eyeballs appear as small and buggy as possible.
- Industrial strength hair spray (not legal in California)
- A warped mirror so at least you think you good. Who needs an objective reflection? Who cares what anyone else but you thinks, anyway? Those mainstream, lying, /#FakeNews mirrors aren’t to be trusted.
A Rihanna presidency, meanwhile, could lead to any number of possibilities, abut we’re sure at least some of these would be part of the agenda:
- Drinking wine anywhere in public is now legal as long as your limit consumption to a single glass held aloft as per executive order.
- President Rihanna’s “Work, Work, Wor, Wor, Wa, Wa” jobs package is passed within the first 100 days. The federal unemployment rate is cut by 3 percent by the end of her first year alone.
- The “Bitch Better Have My Money” tax reform bill eliminates all loopholes used by the one percent to avoid paying their fair share.
- Education? Fully funded.
- The Met Gala is observed as a national holiday. Unfortunately, most employees don’t get the day off, but you are encouraged to come to work dressed in theme, as per tradition.
- International relations are never better. When foreign leaders are asked by their national press why they just agreed to everything America wanted, they reply, “Well, I mean, it was Rihanna I was talking to.” Their citizens are like, “Yeah, true.”
- The CFDA becomes a federal department. It’s Secretary von Fürstenberg now.
- Also, weed: it’s not only legal, but the new tax revenues are dedicated towards female empowerment programs.