Ask the Astro Poets: Am I the Only Nerdy Leo Out There?

Ask the Astro Poets is the monthly advice column by W‘s resident astrologers, Alex Dimitrov (Sagittarius) and Dorothea Lasky (Aries). At the halfway point of every month, they take a breather from writing poetry and horoscopes, and take your questions about love, career, even the big existential questions in life. From matchmaking and compatibility, to friendship, professional, and dating advice, the poets of the stars are here to guide you through any challenge:

Dear Astro Poets,

I’m a proud Leo with a weak spot for brooding Pisces. The four men who’ve carved out a special place in my heart all share birthdays in the same week of March. I can’t resist them, even though they never give me exactly what I’m looking for, which is something like a lioness’s craving for fawning over you unconditionally. Instead, they’re always a little, well, complicated and unknowable. What’s up with these Pisces dudes taking up my psychic space? How can I keep my fire lit with all this watery energy around me?

Addicted to Pisces,

Leo

Dear Proud Leo,

Ah, I love a good fire plus water question. Pisces really are, well, delicious, and deliciously addictive. I, too, have fallen under their spell a few times. I mean, who hasn’t? It’s hard not to when you get a second look into their deep and mopey eyes, and they rope you into their emotional drama. They’re seductive with a big old capital “S,” a serpent’s tail on both ends. People often talk about which sign is the worst heartbreaker. I don’t think any Pisces is capable of the sort of heartbreak that a Gemini or a Scorpio is, but much of the time, they do come very close, doing their best to ruin the life of anyone looking their way within a 50-mile radius.

It makes sense that you, as a Leo, are attracted to them. You’re fixed fire, with tons of intensity and passion. Pisces is mutable water, and they love to go with the flow and carry on with anything exciting around them, which is probably you. You love dramatic romantic gestures, which Pisces are very capable of because they themselves are also very romantic. They intuit the feelings of others, and if they think someone needs to be heard, held, or helped, then if they care, they’ll drop everything to help do what they can. And, no matter how heartless they can seem, they do always care. They care deeply. Rest assured, all of the Pisces you’ve loved have cared very deeply about you. Even if you couldn’t always tell.

Still, that’s not to say that they’ll give you the no-holds-barred, 26-hours-a-day attention that you crave each and every day. We fire signs can sometimes be exhausting for other signs because we do really want attention constantly. (That is, until we don’t, and then you better never talk to us again). It’s not that other signs get tired of us. It’s just that they get tired themselves.

I can’t lie—Pisces/Leo is not a good match. It’s not that your Pisces men haven’t known what you desperately need and want (constant adoration). It’s that somehow, they judged you for needing it—and were simultaneously attracted to this quality in you, which you decided to withhold. Pisces can be a bit sadistic in this way; because they know what makes us tick so well, they can decide not to give it to us on a whim. It’s just not a good idea to be around when a Pisces is feeling mean.

I don’t know your moon or Mars, so I can’t give you any specific advice about what sign might be the very best for you. But my instincts are saying that if you must have water, go Cancer. And if you can help it, go with an Aries or a Sagittarius, or maybe a very sweet Libra. These signs will want to worship you in ways that you deserve, because they themselves love to be worshipped in the same sorts of ways. But caution! Don’t forget to give back what you get.

I hope this month will bring you luck and love!

Dorothea

Dear Astro Poets,

I’m a Leo with a Libra moon with a question I wanted to ask around Leo season. I’ve never been able to identify with the classic Leo traits like demanding a lot of attention, being flashy, and having a lot of ambition and confidence. At the same time, I appreciate those qualities in other Leos and maybe even wish I had them. I’m kind of a nerd. I mostly keep to myself, and my idea of a good time is a book, not a party. Are there other Leos like me?

Yours,

A Nerdy Leo

Dear Nerdy Leo,

You’re not alone. There are many different kinds of Leos, but predominantly, I tend to encounter two types. Obviously, the driven, savvy, glamorous, holding-up-the-party-so-they-can-be-the-party Leo is well known. Of course they are! They’re easiest to recognize. I’m glad you mention the word “ambition”—they get what they want, whether in relationships or their career (but especially in their career). They work very hard. It’s not all charisma. They are incredibly goal-oriented and have become, so to speak, the Leo stereotype.

There’s another type of Leo I often see, and I’m friends with a few of them: the introverted, unassuming, and observational Leo. They need a lot of attention as well, but they don’t need to be the star of the party. They need someone to go to the party with, and for that person to be utterly obsessed with them. In contrast to the Leo who wants everyone’s attention, they seem a little distant and like you can never fully know them because there’s an air of “cool” around them.

That’s the thing about Leos—they project an air of “coolness,” but if you’re the first to go up to them and ask them almost any question—though naturally one about them helps—they’ll engage with you without pretense. The “coolness” they give off has a lot to do with insecurity and fear of how they’re being perceived. It’s their armor. They’re the fire sign with the most armor. They’re obsessed with what people think of them. An Aries is incredibly impulsive and even earthy at times. A Sagittarius can adopt that “coolness,” too, but unlike a Leo, they’ll be the first to approach. Leos like to be approached, whether it’s because they see themselves as the star or because they’re more of an introvert.

But your personality is much larger than your sun sign. Your birth chart is like your DNA, and the intricacies of who you are resides in its complexities. So I’m glad you told me you’re a Libra moon. It makes a huge difference. Look at Emily Dickinson, a fellow fire sign with a Libra moon. She was the ultimate introvert. She had a rich and dynamic inner life that led to a lot of… poems. A lot of great poems. You can’t really write those at a party, unless you’re Frank O’Hara (Aries). Your Libra moon makes you the introspective, cerebral, and “nerdy” Leo that you are. I’ve been like you my entire life. I recommend it!

Your nerdy Sagittarius,

Alex

Related: Ask the Astro Poets: How Do I Finally Get Over My Exes?