Ask the Astro Poets: Is My Crush Trying to Ghost Me?

Ask the Astro Poets is the monthly advice column by W‘s resident astrologers, Alex Dimitrov (Sagittarius) and Dorothea Lasky (Aries). At the halfway point of every month, they take a breather from writing poetry and horoscopes, and take your questions about love, career, even the big existential questions in life. From matchmaking and compatibility, to friendship, professional, and dating advice, the poets of the stars are here to guide you through any challenge:

Dear Astro Poets,

I’ve dipped my toes into the perilous and exhausting world of internet dating. I’m a Pisces, so of course this app romance isn’t my first choice for finding a partner. However, I’ve started talking to two guys who are great. Problem is: they’re literally both Geminis. I know by now that a Pisces-Gemini relationship is typically a big DANGER alert, so I need some solid advice. Should I just run for the hills, or is there actually some hope for a relationship with this controversial air sign?

A Pensive Pisces

Dear Pensive Pisces,

I’ll be honest and say that I’m always concerned for my Pisces friends when they decide to try dating apps. Obviously we’ve all done it (or a lot of us have), but online dating is a strange place for a vulnerable, front-facing creature like a Pisces. Mostly, they get taken advantage of because they’re brilliant on dates and can put up with crazy. Not only that, but a Pisces is always asking important and beautiful questions that allow them to get to know someone pretty quickly (like an hour quick if they’re into it). So, the investment on their end is often immediate and they’re less likely to keep browsing the apps. They’d rather focus on their new person, the one they’ve just found, even if it’s only been one or two dates.

Geminis will keep their options open. Everyone knows this. This is a controversial air sign indeed, and the most unpredictable one at that. They won’t dip into that emotive pool you swim in so easily, no matter how refined your Pisces intuition and no matter what questions you ask. They’ll endlessly talk about themselves, and more than that: their ideas, then after that, more ideas—and this time ideas about their previous ideas, which they mentioned and you likely forgot or tuned out. (Who can blame you? You didn’t sign up for a lecture series.) You’ll learn that when you’re with a Gemini, they’re the ones in charge of the conversation. And they’re often on the surface of it. Flashy, entertaining, intoxicating, but not exactly emotionally available or comfortable with going to a place where they’ll reveal something about themselves.

This is the main problem in a Pisces-Gemini match. A Pisces wants to reveal and see things for what they really are, while Geminis want to throw as much as possible in front of your interactions, endlessly theorize, and bring you along for the ride. Audience is important to them. As a Pisces, on the other hand, you like one-on-one encounters the most. And you also cherish your alone time. Geminis come alive in groups of people. The performance of intimacy is interesting to them. As for intimacy itself… well, try them.

But if there’s anyone who can teach them, it might be you, the oldest sign in the zodiac. My advice is to keep both of these Geminis in play—and maybe even one more person. How about a steady and glamorous earth sign like a Taurus? When you get exhausted by your Geminis, a Taurus will take you on a date that’s all about you. Your pleasure is their pleasure.

I know that doesn’t always work with a Pisces, because you love a project. You love to help someone or transform something. In any scenario, everyone is lucky to go on dates with you. Pisces understand love in a deep way.

Also pensive, though a Sagittarius,

Alex

Dear Astro Poets,

I’m a Sagittarius and really into this Virgo. We’ve been casually seeing each other for months. Lately, our encounters have been sparser because they’re “stressed with work” every time I text them “wyd?” They act like I’m asking a lot from them when I just want to hang out, as if they have so much in their schedule to push around. I’m literally just trying to make out with them (and maybe make fun of them for being so stressed out).

Should I text them and say “I’m trying to make out with you and all you do is tell me how stressful your job is WHAT’S UP?” Or just be patient and try to be graceful for once?

Thanks!

Your Sagittarius Fan

Dear Sagittarius,

Thank you for your question! It comes just in time for Valentine’s Day. I’m so happy to address this from the point of view of a Sagittarius, because it gives the rest of us a good perspective and one that we non-Sags aren’t always privy to. A lot of times it’s the other person asking me how to get an aloof Sagittarius (their words, not mine!) to fall in love with them, and then the discussion becomes about that infamous Sagittarian fear of commitment. But with your question, it’s great to be able to address how it feels for a Sagittarius to long for someone. Having lots of Sagittarian friends, I know what it’s like to witness this longing firsthand. But it’s not a side they like to show to everyone, or that everyone has seen.

In your case, you are pining for a sexy Virgo, who seems scheduled to the max and not ready to cancel all meetings for you (yet). Your Virgo really does sound like a classic one, as all Virgos are notorious about valuing work and career over just about everything else. When a Virgo is working on a task, they’re all in and they’ll get that shit done better than just about anyone else. I don’t know what your Virgo’s job is, but these days it feels like everyone is being overworked. I would trust that your Virgo is feeling a lot of job stress and that they’re being truthful, at least in part.

That being said, your instincts that your Virgo may be trying to ghost you could be accurate. Even though Virgos can be the most loyal companions and there for you when you need it, they also aren’t going to stick around if they aren’t completely into a situation. Like you, they are a mutable sign, so unlike a fixed Taurus or a Leo, who will both keep coming back for more once they’ve gotten used to something, a Virgo will not let themselves be tied down if they don’t want to be, no matter how casual it is. They are sensitive creatures, so they may be trying to let you down easy. (And also trying to escape the relationship.)

You said your relationship is casual, and that actually may be what’s not working for them. Even though Virgos can totally be into having multiple affairs at any one time, the word “casual” just isn’t in their love lexicon. When they’re with a person, they’re all in. (Again, that Virgo work ethic is intense.) They may not like the way your relationship is being defined, and are looking elsewhere for the intensity and commitment that they crave.

That being said, I do think it’s a good plan to just be blunt with them about what you want. If there’s one thing a Virgo loves, it’s sensual pleasures. They’ll most likely find your question charming and take you up on it. Once you’re together again in person, then you can see what the vibe is like and whether or not there is a future between you.

Remember that the universe has all kinds of successful Virgo-Sagittarius relationships that have stood the test of time. Just look at Beyoncé and Jay-Z as an example of true Virgo-Sagittarius love! (That is, if you don’t listen to either of their lyrics too closely…)

Happy Love Month!

Dorothea

Related: February Horoscopes: The Astro Poets Forecast Your Month of Love