Ask the Astro Poets is the monthly advice column by W‘s resident astrologers, Alex Dimitrov (Sagittarius) and Dorothea Lasky (Aries). At the halfway point of every month, they take a breather from writing poetry and horoscopes, and take your questions about love, career, even the big existential questions in life. From matchmaking and compatibility, to friendship, professional, and dating advice, the poets of the stars are here to guide you through any challenge:
Dear Astro Poets,
I’m a Virgo who has a lot of trouble with self-care. I fit many of the Virgo stereotypes. I work a lot, and I have infinite goals and lists to check off, but one thing I can’t get right is giving myself time to simply do nothing and relax. I know Capricorns are workhorses, but honestly, we give them a run for their money. I feel so much guilt when I’m not being useful, whether professionally or as a friend, and my obsession with productivity also hinders my ability to open up to friends at times. It’s almost crippling, and I don’t know what to do. Do you have any advice?
A Virgo Workaholic
Dear Virgo Workaholic,
Earth signs organize their lives around work, which gives them a very tangible sense of meaning. Whenever something bad happens—even when someone dies or a big life plan falls through—they keep working. This is how they get through trauma, and through daily minutia, too. Their investment in the material world is actually exemplary of their very real belief in it. Sure, they grapple with the existential like we all do, but they’re so focused on what they can actually control (or allow themselves to think they can)—their careers, relationships, their homes—that it grounds them enough to allow for the illusion of control over everything else. It’s a great trick in a way. That’s why earth signs are incredible business partners and, as you mentioned, attentive friends.
A Virgo is always going to take care of someone’s physical needs with urgency. But emotionally, it’s a little more difficult for them. They have a hard time opening up, even to themselves. One thing Virgos are always battling—and also thriving off of—is this idea that they’re superhuman. That somehow every task and need can be managed with enough preparation and foresight. This can be crippling, and if one small thing on the list goes unchecked, or not according to plan, they think the entire enterprise has fallen apart. At the end of the day, self-care has little to do with lists. It’s messy and it’s ongoing, and, most importantly, it’s constantly changing. Sometimes a ritual or mode of pleasure just stops working. Virgos are not big fans of change. They often treat the self with the expectation that it will perform at maximum capability or at its best, however they remember that best to be.
What I want to tell you, because I’ve seen how difficult it can be with my Virgo friends, is to allow the people you care so deeply about, the people around you and the ones you yourself take care of, to see more of the mess and frustration you go through. That’s healing alone. I know this is hard because it’s a way of relinquishing control over that immaculate Virgo image, but let them really see you. Let them help, even if that doesn’t mean managing something or accomplishing a task. Listening, processing, surviving everyday chaos—these are all things Virgos need to find more tangible meaning in. They matter. Even when they don’t necessarily yield immediate “results” or “progress.”
Almost every Virgo I know also loves taking care of plants, which obviously take care of us, too. Buy three or five or 15. Then invite all your fire and water sign friends over (air signs and Virgos—I don’t know about that) and have a long feelings sesh. I promise you that at the end of the day, we’ll still see you as strong and accomplished and remain in utter awe of you.
Here’s my Virgo confession: I used to really resist you guys because I found you all a bit cold and calculating, but now I’m so into Virgos. You have a huge heart. Don’t forget that, and don’t forget to let it also take care of you.
Your Sagittarius fan,
Dear Astro Poets,
I’m an Aquarius lady with a Sagittarius moon. Lately—or maybe whole my life, but I didn’t realize it until now—I’ve had a thing for Sagittarius men. I’ve had lots of first dates with them and they always go well. There’s so much passion, and I feel like our initial connection is invincible. Quickly, I fall madly in love with them. But no matter how good the date, the next morning, or even a few joy-filled weeks later, they they’re just gone. I never hear from them again.
I know that an Aquarius is kind of a perfect match for a Sagittarius, but I just can’t make them stick around for too long. Am I doing something wrong? What should I do?
An Aquarius Stuck on Sagittarians
Celebrity Aquarius Season With Oprah and Laura Dern
Alicia Keys, born January 25th. Photo by Mario Sorrenti for W Magazine.
Laura Dern, born February 10th. Photo by Juergen Teller for W Magazine.
Jennifer Aniston, born February 11th. Photo by Michael Thompson for W Magazine.
Evan Peters, born January 20th. Photo by Alasdair McClellan for W Magazine.
Oprah Winfrey, born January 29th. Photo by Juergen Teller for W Magazine.
Paris Hilton, born February 17th. Photo by Mayan Toledano For W Magazine.
Yara Shahidi, born February 10th. Photo by Alex Hodor Lee for W Magazine.
Ellen Degeneres, born January 26th, and Portia De Rossi, born January 31st. Photo by Michael Thompson for W Magazine.
Tom Hiddleston, born February 9th. Photo by Mona Kuhn for W Magazine.
Eiza Gonzalez, born January 30th. Photo by Bruno Staub for W Magazine.
Kerry Washington, born January 31st. Photo by Juergen Teller for W Magazine.
Ashton Kutcher, born February 7th. Photo by Pari Dukovic for W Magazine.
Emma Roberts, born February 10th. Photo by Inez and Vinoodh for W Magazine.
Elizabeth Olsen, born February 16th. Photo by Alex Prager for W magazine.
Justin Timberlake, born January 31st. Photo by Platon Antoniou for W Magazine.
Joseph Gordon-Levitt, born February 17th. Photo by Juergen Teller for W Magazine.
Benicio del Toro, born February 19th. Photo by Peter Lindbergh for W Magazine.
Chloë Grace Moretz, born February 10th. Photo by Rineke Dijkstra for W Magazine.
Michael B. Jordan, born February 9th. Photo by Tim Walker for W Magazine.
Christina Ricci, born February 12th. Photo by Mert and Marcus for W Magazine.
Dear Lovely Aquarius,
Thank you for your question! I definitely feel your pain. I, too, have had lots of really fun first dates with Sagittarians, which had me certain that by the fourth hour of knowing each other, they’d just hurry up and propose… only to then get my heart crushed when I never heard from them again. I’ve also definitely had lots of “love at first sight” Sagittarian feelings. I remember meeting one for the first time in an airport; it felt like a Bunsen burner had been lit with 600 tons of gasoline as soon as I saw him from across the room.
With your Sagittarius moon, I can only imagine how madly in love you can feel for a really fun Sagittarius. Our moons are our first instincts and the parts of our personalities that we don’t show to everyone, but that we feel palpably, all of the time. That’s why we become attracted to people who are the signs of our moons—sometimes uncontrollably. Your moon draws you to Sagittarians, without you even realizing it. It can be very hard to stop this force.
On top of that, you’re an Aquarius, an air sign. Air and Fire signs are naturally drawn to each other, as they feed each other’s instincts. Aquarius and Sagittarius are trined, which means they have a strong foundation for friendship and extra compatibility. It’s very difficult for trined signs not to like each other; most enduring romantic relationships are either between signs of the same element or signs that are trined.
All of the Celebrities Who Have Gotten Married In 2018 (So Far)
Henry Holland, the slogan tee extraordinaire and designer behind House of Holland, capped off his 2018 by marrying David Hodgson, the creative director of Lulu Guinness, at Old Marylebone Town Hall in London, where Paul McCartney, Ringo Starr, Melanie Griffith, and Liam Gallagher have all previously exchanged vows.
A few years after they costarred on ABC’s Revenge, Emily VanCamp and Josh Bowman headed to the Bahamas to make like their on-screen characters and tie the knot.
The 28-year-old actor Grant Gustin—aka the Flash—married the 30-year-old physical therapist Andrea “LA” Thoma midway through December in Los Angeles. While they kept their symbolic Kadazan ceremony the held last year to honor of Thoma’s ancestors low-key, this time, they invited an actor-filled crowd to the proceedings, including Melissa Benoist and Daveed Diggs.
Having declined Donald Trump’s offer to use the White House as their wedding venue, following their engagement last year, Morning Joe cohosts Joe Scarborough and Mika Brzezinski instead held their ceremony in close proximity to the Declaration of Independence, the Bill of Rights, and the Constitution at the National Archives. Both were married when they began their tenure at MSNBC in 2007, and both were divorced about five years later, at which point they discreetly began dating. (They purposely chose just two days after Thanksgiving to get married, hoping for some privacy while people were out of town.)
Mandy Moore and her new husband, Taylor Goldsmith, married on November 18th, 2018. Photo courtesy of Instagram @mandymooremm.
Carlos Torretta and Marta Ortega were married on Friday, November 17th, 2018, in Ortega’s hometown of A Coruña, Spain. Photo courtesy of Getty Images.
“Okay, so we went and did it. And damn are we happy,” the 62-year-old comedian and former Full House star posted on Instagram in late October to announce that, following their engagement last November, he and 39-year-old Eat Travel Rock host Kelly Rizzo had gotten married. (Among those who attended the wedding were John Mayer—even though it meant delaying his Instagram live show by three hours.)
Princess Ayako of Takamodo turned away from her royal status to marry Kei Moriya, a commoner who works for a major Japanese shipping company. Per the Imperial House of Japan’s rules, women who marry non royals must forfeit their place in the royal family. Princess Ayako married Moriya at Meiji Shrine in Tokyo on October 29, 2018.
Barely a week had passed after Princess Eugenie’s nuptials when yet another royal wedding came along, thanks to Duchess Sophie of Württemberg and the French aristocrat Count Maximilien of Andigné, who tied the knot at the Castle of Tegernsee in Germany, near the Bavarian Alps.
And, just a week after attending Princess Eugenie’s wedding, the 32-year-old Bloomingdale’s heiress Hayley Bloomingdale hosted her own, marking her union to the lighting designer Dada Stileman. She wore an apparently beach-friendly gown by Carolina Herrera for the ceremony, which took place in Santa Barbara.
The ever-subtle couple Karlie Kloss and Joshua Kushner took their six-year relationship to another level in October with a surprise small ceremony in upstate New York. The newlyweds may not share the political views of Joshua’s brother, presidential adviser Jared Kushner, but whether Kloss likes it or not, their union means that she’s now officially related to the Trumps. (Ivanka, for her part, is thrilled: She proclaimed Kloss to be her “sister” following the news of their engagement over the summer.)
The stylist (and former W fashion director) Joe Zee also headed upstate this October to get hitched, bringing his new husband, the designer Rob Younkers, along with him, of course. Julianne Moore attended the ceremony, which was followed by some rustic festivities that started off with appetizers served atop nails affixed to planks of wood.
Despite the “miserable British weather,” as he later put it on Instagram, Lord Ivar Mountbatten married his partner, James Coyle, at the end of September in a small ceremony, which saw the latter’s ex-wife walk him down the aisle. Seeing as Lord Ivar is the Queen’s third cousin once removed, their union marked the first gay royal wedding, temporarily stealing the show from even Meghan Markle and Prince Harry.
Olympic swimmer Ryan Lochte and model Kayla Rae Reid, who met on Instagram, actually wed back in January. Seeing as that ceremony was secret, this September, they decided to do it all over again, this time at a ranch in Palm Springs.
The Blonde Salad’s Chiara Ferragni married Italian rapper Fedez on Saturday, September 1, 2018, in Italy, after a weekend of elaborate events. For the actual ceremony, Ferragni wore Dior Haute Couture, and the house’s creative director Maria Grazia Chiuri was reportedly in attendance. She changed into a more playful gown after the ceremony, and shared a closer look at both ensembles on Instagram.
Vincent Cassel, 52, headed to a city hall in southwestern France to marry the 21-year-old model Tina Kunakey. They’ve already landed a magazine cover together, and Cassel has already addressed their age difference by declaring, “I’m very much in love and sure we are going to make babies.”
The Danish model Caroline Brasch Nielsen and her now husband Frederik Bille Brahe, a chef, took over the canals of Copenhagen for a day in August for a ceremony complete with sunflowers and their pet border collie.
The model Emily DiDonato headed for the mountains of Colorado to marry the financier Kyle Peterson, just four years after they met by sitting next to each other on a plane DiDonato had boarded for an Australian Vogue cover shoot.
Tauheed Epps, aka 2 Chainz, and Kesha Ward—seen here with their three children, Heaven, Harmony, and Halo—took over the ridiculously over-the-top Versace Mansion for a ceremony that drew the likes of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West, the latter of whom caused a scene when he showed up wearing socks and sandals.
Before heading off to honeymoon in Spain, House of Cards star Robin Wright—who divorced Sean Penn in 2010—quietly married her Clement Giraudet, the head of VIP relations at Saint Laurent, in a quiet, largely social media-free wedding in France.
Seven years after meeting him at a club in Paris, the stylist and creative director Lolita Jacobs married Jean-Baptiste Talbourdet-Napoleone in Saint-Tropez, wearing a dress casually designed by her old pal Simon Porte Jacquemus.
Erin Wasson and her pals, who all just so happened to wear pink, took over Austin on the day that the model wed her partner of two years, the restaurateur Bart Tassy, in some very ruffly Vivienne Westwood.
Actress and eternal Chanel muse Vanessa Paradis tucked her ex Johnny Depp a bit further away into her past when she married the director Samuel Benchetrit in a small ceremony outside of Paris at the end of June. Their union turns out to have brought about one for her daughter Lily-Rose Depp and Benchetrit’s son Jules Benchetrit, who’s pretty much the Timothée Chalamet of France, too.
Terrence Thornton, aka Pusha T, married his partner of 11 years, Virginia Williams, in their hometown of Virginia Beach. The ceremony also happened to mark Dior Homme newbie Kim Jones‘s first foray into bridal design.
Before she put her hair in a ponytail and switched into her cozier Tadashi Shoji jumpsuit to celebrate, Cuoco wore a lacy Reem Acra gown and cape to marry Cook.
All things considered, it does make sense that you and a Sagittarius would have an easy chemistry and enjoy being together. The problem you outline—how to make a Sagittarius stick around past a couple of days––has to do with keeping them around to make this chemistry more of the lifelong variety. I must say that this problem has less to do with you being an Aquarius and more to do with a Sagittarius being a Sagittarius. It’s a bit astrologically cliché to say, but Sagittarians are about as anti-commitment as they come. They hold the ideal of free self-expression above almost all else, and they are known for not wanting to get tied down by too many things, if they can help it. I’m sure the Sagittarians you’ve dated have loved being with you, but it was in fact this joy that made them look for the quickest exit. They detest the idea of being trapped, and sometimes, too much of a good thing makes them feel this way. They’re also brutally honest, so as soon as they feel the need to make their exit, they aren’t going to waste anyone’s time pretending or say more than necessary. After all, most of the time in these situations, the perfect thing to say is nothing.
As far as my advice goes, if you want to make a Sagittarius stay, you have to give them the feeling that they’re absolutely free to leave at any moment they want to. You have to be careful, especially early on, not to mention anything that has to do with commitment or your plans for the future; if they get any idea that you’re already picking out your wedding outfit, they’ll freak out. You also have to be as independent as possible and not show that you need much from them. At the same time, though, you have to be a bit of a leader, which means being confident and a little bossy. Despite what they say to the contrary, Sagittarians, with their mutable natures, actually want you to call the shots in most situations.
I know this all sounds a bit confusing, but when you get one of those hot Sagittarians to stay past week three, I know you will think it’s all worth it! Still, if you get sick of trying to convince one to stay, I might recommend that you call up that giggly Libra you met last week. That Libra might seem a little too aloof for you at first, but once they get to know you better, they’ll be into your Aquarian energy and spicy moon, and in, forever. I bet you’ll have a great time with one. Try it out! And most of all, good luck!
Yours in Fire and Air love,
The 9 Most Unexpected Celebrity Couples Who’ve Survived 2018 So Far
We should have known this year of unexpected commitment was coming after 2017 ended with Gwen Stefani telling Giada De Laurentiis that she and Blake Shelton—who became both People’s Sexiest Man Alive and her soulmate seemingly overnight—don’t actually talk to each other much. Instead, they prefer to “just sing like a musical, and everything we sing is like ‘I love you.’ It’s pretty much the whole time like how great we are.” That’s pretty much all they’ve been telling the media over the past year, too—even though they’ve been dating since late 2015. If they’re suddenly genuinely as lovestruck as they seem to be, then best wishes. We just can’t help but shake the idea that something must be off, though, since neither of them has ever once showed a single sign of reluctance when it comes to fawning over the other. Or exhaustion. Or, in fact, anything less than ecstatic enthusiasm. Which is in itself exhausting.
This past May was an eventful one for Ariana Grande and Saturday Night Live cast member Pete Davidson: they both broke off years-long relationships, then announced that they’d already entered into a new one and were dating each other. The weeks since have seen them get engaged; repeatedly assert their commitment to each other via a steady flow of relationship-related tattoos; move in together; and even go rug-shopping. Meanwhile, Grande has been wearing not only the nearly $100,000 diamond engagement ring he gifted her, but also a sweatshirt with his face on it. For his part, Davidson, who’s wont to leave comments like “our love is beautiful” on Grande’s Instagram, posted a gram of his own for her birthday, captioned “happy birthday to the most precious angel on earth! you’re my favorite person that ever existed 🙂 i love you sm.” It’s all just a lot.
As seen here, Nick Jonas and Priyanka Chopra first drew attention to themselves as a couple at last year’s Met Gala by showing up to the red carpet together—a result, apparently, of both being dressed by and seated with Ralph Lauren. That was easy enough to believe at the time, their differences in age (10 years) and backgrounds (Bollywood and the Disney Channel), but they’ve spent the past month basically making a point to show just how much they’ve been hitting it off, publicly flirting on Instagram (sample comment: “that smile”), introducing each other to their families, and, before long, and making their relationship Instagram official at the end of this June.
Congratulations are in order for Kourtney Karadashian and Younes Bendjima, because honestly, we never thought they’d last this long—or still be having this much fun. The model and former boxer started dating the eldest Kardashian sister late last year, when he was 24, having met when he helped her family out with a bit of translation after Kim Kardashian’s traumatic robbery. Their 13-year age difference might bother Kourtney’s ex, Scott Disick, but the couple seems like they couldn’t care less: over the past few years, they’ve rode camels through the Egyptian desert, managed to take infinity room selfies, and taken mysterious private jets just for the fun of it. (By the way, they’re currently on a family vacation with Kourtney’s three kids in Portofino.) Whatever ends up happening, it looks like they’ll certainly end up considering their relationship fun while it lasted, which seems much more positive than what Sofia Richie will say about things with Disick.
A lot of things go down each year on the red carpet of the Met Gala; P. Diddy, for example, literally laid down on the museum’s stairs in 2017, the same year that saw, as you may recall, Nick Jonas and Priyanka Chopra pair up, and Jaden Smith choose a handful of his shorn dreadlocks as his date. This year, though, the murmurs were all about the musician Grimes and the billionaire investor-engineer-eccentric Elon Musk arriving arm-in-arm, confirming what no one knew until then: that, after meeting on Twitter, they were officially dating. As if to underline their incongruence, Musk wore a James Bond-like black-and-white tux, while Grimes repped the mall goths, with a head of messy black hair and a pair of platform knee-high boots.
As a mutually beneficial marriage of the former’s reputation, and the latter’s fortune, the attraction between the”Hot Felon” Jeremy Meeks and Topshop heiress Chloe Green makes complete sense. What we didn’t see coming, though, was that their relationship, which began in May of 2017, would escalate to the point of Green giving birth to her first child with Meeks. Good thing that divorce with his ex-wife did end up coming through earlier this year!
Less than two years into dating, Khloé Kardashian and Tristan Thompson already had enough drama go down between them that keeping track of it all required referencing a very helpful timeline. All that, of course, escalated when Thompson was apparently caught cheating on Kardashian, just before she gave birth to their baby, True. Whereas Khloé has made a point to defend their relationship, we’ve only heard a peep or two from Tristan. Whether they’ll keep giving it a go or not, ultimately, Kim has the real say here: she’s made it crystal clear that if he pulls any more moves like blocking her again, it’s over.
It’s been a full year since Ben Affleck, who split with Jennifer Garner after more than a decade of marriage in 2015, started dating the Saturday Night Live producer Lindsay Shookus. (Though there have been plenty of rumors that they’d actually been dating for years, aka during their past marriages, too.) Is their shared loved for iced coffee really that strong? Of course, there could be more than their relationship than that, but if there is, we’ve yet to hear of it. In fact, the most recent news about the couple is that they’re so far spending the summer “they’re enjoying doing normal couple things and exploring L.A. together.”
Listen, Kendall Jenner knows that there’s a good chance you think she’s not exactly interested in men. She’ll also go as far in attempting to dissuade you from that notion by asserting in a magazine cover story that she doesn’t think she has “a bisexual or gay bone in [her] body.” Coming from a member of perhaps the most image-conscious family in the world, though, the lack of seamlessness here, from the apparent lack of romance in her recent relationship with Blake Griffin to her newfound one with another basketball player, Ben Simmons, suggests that something’s amiss. We all know that Kris Jenner reigns supreme over the rumor mill, which has recently been reporting that the pair might not be official, but is indeed “pretty inseparable.” At least one of their recent appearances has told a much less titillating story, however—unless you consider going grocery shopping together a hot date.