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There's no shortage of people who consider Beyoncé to be absolutely spellbinding, but this week, one of them took that opinion to a whole new, very literal level. On Thursday, The Blast shared that it had obtained court documents in which Beyoncé's former drummer, Kimberley Thompson, reportedly accused Bey of subjecting her to "dark magic," "extreme witchcraft," and even "magic spells of sexual molestation" over the course of the seven years that she worked with her—a period of time which, from her point of view, was essentially a "campaign of harassment."
The complete list of Thompson's complaints includes the "loss of many jobs," theft of homes," and "magic spells on my lovers" and places the blame on Bey for "numerous broken relationships." As if that weren't dark enough, Thompson also went so far as to allege that on top of all of that, Beyoncé is responsible for the murder of her pet kitten.
If Thompson has an idea of Beyoncé's potential motive, it hasn't yet been made public. (Which isn't exactly surprising, given that she also apparently believes that Beyoncé is tapping her phones and controlling her finances.) Still, even with an alleged kitten murder on the line, a judge denied Thompson's request for a temporary restraining order.
While others have been equally dismissive of the idea that Beyoncé, a loving mother of three who harbors affection for even her "mommy pouch," would harm a living creature, let alone one that's the picture of innocence, it should come as no surprise that others have not. It was just in 2016, for example, that certain right-wing circles orchestrated a full-on attack on the performance artist Marina Abramović—and none other than then-presidential candidate Hillary Clinton—for practicing satanism, with only an email in which Abramović invited Clinton's campaign chairman, John Podesta, over for some "traditional soups" as evidence.
As benevolent as Beyoncé can be, it doesn't seem like she's been inviting people over for soup as of late. (If she has, anyway, our invitation must have gotten lost in the mail.) But she and Jay-Z have, on the other hand, been the subject of—and even courted—Illuminati conspiracy theories for years. In fact, as recently as this past June, they set off a whole new set of rumors as for filming their "Apeshit" music video at the Louvre—and, more specifically, outside of its Illuminati-associated I. M. Pei pyramid.
If Beyoncé really is a witch, though, that's not to say it'll harm her perfectly curated public image. Lana Del Rey, after all, has been just fine in the year since she came clean about her love for casting a good ole hex.