Amy Schumer has had quite a few surprises in store for us as of late: Last month, she secretly married Chris Fischer, a chef with whom she was first spotted just last November, and had only made their relationship Instagram-official a few days prior. She made predictably raunchy wedding-vow history by promising oral sex. And now, on her honeymoon to Italy, she's suddenly pivoted to becoming something of an art historian.
Well, she's at least using her platform to teach her 6.6 million Instagram followers a little something about art. That started six days ago, when Schumer made an abrupt departure from posting blurry A Wrinkle in Time posters to a striking nighttime snapshot of the ornate Milan Cathedral, aka the Duomo, which took nearly six centuries to construct. Then, after making two posts about her upcoming film I Feel Pretty, two days later, Schumer went back to sharing more treasures from Milan with a not-so-professional shot of The Last Supper, Leonardo da Vinci's famed 15th-century mural which resides in the Convent of Santa Maria delle Grazie (and which, side note, Paris Hilton recently referred to as "Jesus' Breakfast").
The reason for Schumer's bad angle can be found in the comments section: whereas one user was impressed, commenting, "I can’t believe you snuck a pic. Nice," another opted to reprimand Schumer, reminding her that "taking pictures of The Last Supper is strictly forbidden." To be fair, Schumer didn't use flash, so we can't immediately cast blame as to whether her snapshot further damaged the mural's preservation. Her suspicious angle, though, definitely suggests she knew she was up to something sneaky.
Anyway! After posting about inclusion riders, Schumer announced that she'd be making her way to Venice next, where she posted a photo of tourists posing in front of the Piazza San Marco and a zoomed-in gallery of pics taken by Fischer showing her delight while marveling at one of the city's many canals.
But enough with Venice! It was time for "Roma," as she put it, where Schumer wished her followers a happy International Women's Day with a gallery of art featuring women across Rome, from mosaics to marble sculptures to paintings, oddly enough starting with the Italian mannerist painter Giuseppe Cesari's early-17th-century depiction of the rape of Europa, a mythological story of a woman whom Zeus abducted by transforming into a bull and transporting her to Crete, where she bore three of his children. (The tale has questionably been something of an art-history favorite for male artists over the years, also painted by stalwarts like Rembrandt and Titian.)
Schumer unfortunately didn't provide the context for that story, but she did take the time to add a bit more info when she next posted Diana and Actaeon, another myth more famously depicted by Titian, which she this time properly attributed to another Cesari, Giuseppe's brother Bernardino. Schumer also succinctly and impressively summarized the myth this time around: "Young prince Actaeon, hunting in the forest, stumbled accidentally upon the grotto where Diana and her companion were bathing. To punish him for the glimpse of divine nudity, the goddess turned him into a stag. He was pursued and torn to pieces by his own hounds. The painting depicts when Actaeon has sprouted antlers. He staggers backwards as his own dogs spring at him."
As it turns out, though, Schumer was once again skipping out on the credit; a quick Google search reveals that she actually seems to have copied and pasted that summary from an art historical website.
Sorry to rat you out, Amy! Let's take a moment to focus on the good things, too, like how much fun Schumer and Fischer seem to be having on their travels. In case you've been behind on tracking her Instagram Stories, E! has kindly taken screenshots to give us that much-needed hope that love is indeed still alive.